I'm not sure if anyone has heard of this monstrosity called Flora Bama Shore on MTV. It premiered a few weeks ago and is one of the worst pieces of shit I have ever witnessed. The cast is all ugly and slow-witted. I am unsure if that is a southern thing, but I know it isn't because I have met multiple people from the south that are actually smart and have something to say that is intelligent. You will not find that with this group of people. Now I would like to introduce you to the astonishingly ugly cast of Floribama.
Gus
Gus was kicked out of his house at the age of 17 probably when his father realized what a disappointment he was. He is the ugliest "pretty boy" that I have ever seen on television. And seems to have no game whatsoever. On his first date with a fellow castmate he talked about having kids with her and he wanted to name them, you guessed it, Gus. An ugly name for an ugly person. He could not close a door he is so bad. Please save your sob story for someone who cares, but the thing is no one does.
Nilsa
Now I have the pleasure of introducing the hottest cast member, Nilsa. It wasn't a very hard accomplishment to achieve considering the rest of the women look like dogs. The only reason she is the most attractive is because of her artificial enhancements. Her tits are her biggest asset, too bad they were botched. This girl is a mess. End of story.
Codi
I know, a stupid fucking name for a stupid fucking person. Codi is a closet homosexual that loves to pop his collar because "that's what southerners do". Well, Codi you suck and your style is terrible. You say that your goal of the summer was to talk to girls. No thy self, Codi. You are a flamer and it is okay, own it, don't be a pussy about it.
Jeremiah
(
Next, we have this bag of rocks named Jeremiah. He is the stereotypical gym rat that has no brain or social skills. To me, he seems like an asexual dummy that should be sterilized (please bro, do not reproduce). You are a genetic freak and that is all you have going for you. You have absolutely no game. I have seen freshman pledges at their first college party have more game than you have. Stay at the gym. Do society that favor.
Kortni
(
She is a mess. She is the type of girl that you close at the end of the night when you are desperate. The first night she pissed in her roommate's bed, which I must admit was pretty funny to me because I have done the same. Stil, she sucks. She is a slut that is wanting to be dicked down by any means necessary. I would not be surprised if by the end of the season she contracts the herps.
Candance
(
She is forgettable. Tries to fit in but no one really cares about her. She is bland and ha her bed pissed on the first night. Not much else to say.
Kirk
The most unathletic guy on the show. Does nothing when the whole team goes out and is almost as forgettable as Candace, almost.
Aimee
Last and certainly the ugliest is Aimee. She is complete trach with a capital T. She is grossly unattractive and just plain gross. I'm not unsure why MTV would cast someone this ugly, on multiple occasions I have had to turn the TV off so I could get a break from looking at this pig.
MTV has gone downhill since the Jersey Shore days. I am not saying that that show was any better but at least the people were more attractive and you couldactuallyy look at them. I feel that MTV was really scrapping the barrel on this one and they came up with a pile of shit. I guess teen mom will have to be the main source of ratings for the network.
