I think like you in many ways. I appreciated the morbidity of your writings, and then reading about your worries and meaning, made me think that all of us have a fear for a specific thing but we tend to pay so much attention to it, then often forget about the many other risks that lurk in the shadows of daily basis.
I hope that you have thousands of millions of heartbeats more available in the years to come, for you are an inspiration to me and I sense that you are strong, so live your life the way you want to in your own terms, taking those deep breaths that will surely clarify your days.
Regards, estimated friend.