I dreamed a lot about becoming a superhero able to save everyone and make possible the peace between people.
Life is hard and the daily routine often transform our dreams in necessities, and our necessities in bad places becomes bad habits, so you start to smoke cigarettes and overuse alcohol. Now, after errors and bad habits accumulated in years, I feel again this dream, I feel that there is a community that can understand me, us, me in the community, everyone.
Today I am positive, I understand that we are becoming Homo Deus but only very very slowly, I will do better than my grandfather and also my father I hope, and my future son better than me, quicker than I will think. This is the project, this is the only way we have to follow, and I am happy of seeing this, now, again.
I am 25 years old, I stopped at the University because I am incrisis. I was studying without see a good way a good opportunity for my self.
Now after only 6 mounths out my illness I know more words, I know that if you stay in your house close for days without talking with anyone, thinking about suicide, refusing healthy food and prefere smoke more joints you need is not good, not because people say this but becuse deep inside you know is sad for yourself. Today I know this shitty stuff is called Depression, and when stuff have a name you can speak with other about. Now I really understand is only a part of the path that we are walking, the depression too.
We don't study all the languages about life in school, neither at home sometimes...Sociology, Psichology, Psichiatry, Philosophy, History, the other Religions, the others Cultures, the others way of living in the world.
I understand that the work that we have to do is very bigger, and is harder becaming older because we became very dangerous for the new generation in our way of talking and also "teaching" how to live.
How I am Trying to became an Homo Deus?
Talking with people, answered their questions in the best way possible for them, smiling for the day that I have, sharing information (every type). I know that do the best for me is the best things also for others people.
Is hard?
Is impossible sometimes I think, but only seems. The depression is a monster locked inside the body, in the most important part of it, the Heart. Sadness and other bad feelings often trying to take possession of myself.
But after all I need to try, and try again for the control for the good, for the peace, for the future.
Trying is the key, we need to continue with trying we didn't decide to start the way, no our life for sure, but we can choose to start the life of someone else. The life of our son for exaple and I would like to be responsable of something so big and good in my life.
I wrote everything here in the hope that somone can understand that we are creating a comunity, I have some paper of my diary that I can put here, if people appreciate and think that read stuff like that can be good for them I will continue.
(sorry for my english, I am Italian, we don't speak a lot of it here. yes is a lazy italian excuse. i am improving! i am joking)
See yha, Bellaz
