And it was today, on this day that a cis white man tried to use queerness to distract from allegations of sexual violence that it finally hit me: I wouldn't be where I am today without the helping hand of queer folks in the workplace at some really critical times in my life.
And here's why that matters: not only is there no correlation between queerness and sexual violence outside of the bigoted straw-man assaults of homophobes against the queer community, but also queer folks still statistically struggle in the workplace.
I'm SURE that people think I'm a *deviant* for the way I express my gender, and I've definitely faced more than my fair share of discrimination in the workplace because of my gender identity and expression, but that's not the point of this post. No; this post is about the fact that I'm doing quite well these days, and that is 100% because of some amazing queers.
The first queer hero I owe my wellbeing to was the first person to hire me when I went off to college. I qualified for a work-study position, and applied to more than 60 different openings, but only heard back from one of them-- and that's the place I ended up working for three of my four years in undergrad. I was hired by the technical director of the theater department to build sets, and to this day I have no idea what he saw in me-- I'd never built shit!-- but I sure as hell am glad he gave me a shot.
Not only did I learn the basics of carpentry, HOW TO WELD (!!!!!), and how to manage small teams in potentially hazardous environments, but I also learned a hell of a lot about life. My boss was an incredibly visionary (if admittedly a bit macabre) and exceedingly patient and trusting. He let me drive the van and take the company card to buy hundreds of dollars of supplies in my very first year!
But he was also there while I was going through an especially difficult depression, and again as I was getting out of an abusive relationship. He was kind enough to listen to me talk out my ass about how bad I was at life, and always challenged me in just the right ways, but not without accepting and supporting me when nobody else would.
It was with him that I laid the foundation of my creative career. And, in fact, he was the first person who proved to me that you could make money AND be creative at the same time! Before that, having grown up in a low-income area, creative work was a luxury for the rich, and work could only be demeaning and draining. Boy, was I wrong, and boy am I glad he showed that to me.
The second queer hero who helped me get to a whole new level in my life was the first person to hire me after I'd been hospitalized for my mental health. I'd lost my very first post-college professional office job as well as the place I was living and basically my entire direction in life, and was definitely at my lowest low. But this person, also a carpenter, was again kind enough to give me a shot in his cabinet business.
Sure, he did work himself to the bone, but that was because he wanted to! Goddamn did he ever have a fire in his belly. Moreso than showing me how to build cabinets and do a finer type of woodworking, he also showed me that you can go out and do your thing and get paid well to do it. He didn't have to attend all the meetings and jump through all the hoops that my theater boss was constantly busied with; he did only the jobs he wanted to, when he wanted to, and he trusted himself enough to say no when he felt like it.
And I'm definitely nowhere near the entrepreneur that he is, and I'm still working my confidence, but again, he showed me that an entirely different way of being was possible, and he showed it to me at my most desperate. I wouldn't be where I am today without his timely intervention in my life!
So no, being queer doesn't absolve you of being a bad person or doing bad things, but it doesn't necessarily destine you for unemployment and suffering, either. Don't get me wrong-- there are way too many queer folks who are suffering and unemployed around the world today, but there's also NOT that-- there are queers who are doing dope things in the workplace, like the two heroes I profiled above, who were there for me when nobody else was, and who helped me get ahead in life in a way that I'm incredibly grateful for to this day.
I'd like to think that I'm doing quite well for myself these days, all things considered. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that I owe a significant stake of that wellness to the queers who took me under their wing while I was coming up. And that's what I was thinking about today in regards to the queer community.
