A few months ago in Spain...

A few months ago what should have been a flight to Asturias from Alicante airport was for me the most crazy and funniest experience I had ever experienced. With barely 30 minutes left to catch my flight home, a flying saucer appeared outside the terminal.

Chaos invaded the terminal and in my case I was totally petrified and a voice began to echo in my head saying repetitively:

"I am GalenE.T. you are the chosen one and get on the flying saucer."
"I am GalenE.T. You are the chosen one and get on the flying saucer."
"I am GalenE.T. you are the chosen one and get on the flying saucer."

So hypnotized by these words I was abducted and when I regained consciousness I was in Porto (Portugal) at 108 Conde de Vizela Street where GalenE.T. was smoking a joint seeing how hard it was for him to speak and his lost look.

With the initial shock of meeting an alien for the first time, I had a hard time talking, but it wasn't a problem because GalenE.T. was very talkative and asked me to have a few beers in a nearby pub, nicely decorated where the tables were all funny interpretations of works of art. Specifically, we sat at the table where he had painted a portrait of Van Gogh smoking a water pipe.

Once I lost my initial fear, or rather the result of the 4 beers I drank in less than an hour and as Porto is a city that I loved, we went for a walk through the center of the city and specifically to the vicinity of the Luis I bridge.

A bad-smelling gas leak

But as a result of the walk and the four beers, my guts began to churn and without being able to help it, I farted a loud and smelly fart. To which GalenE.T. asked me:

GalenE.T.: "What was that sound coming out of you?"
GalenE.T.: "What is that unpleasant smell?"

It was then that I had to explain to him that human beings, when we ingest certain foods, the bacteria in our organism generate gases in the decomposition of the food, methane being the main gas, and when that gas came out through my anal canal it generated such a thunderous sound.

Incredulous with the explanation he said to me:

GalenE.T.: "Methane does not smell that way."

Then, it was when I had to point out to him that food contains carbon and when it decomposes in our intestines it generates waste that is odorous and methane carries the odor of that waste and therefore the bad smell generated. And to let him know what waste we mammals generate, I showed him an old photograph of the manure generated by cows from a visit I had made to a farm a few days earlier.

How greedy the extraterrestrial gambler is

According to my explanation, we did not go later to a place to have a typical Portuguese dish such as codfish for dinner and in particular a codfish with cream that was tasty.

However, GalenE.T. kept looking towards the other side of the place where there were several slot machines and that was when he asked me if I had any money and I showed him the money I had.

Without giving me time to warn him of the risks of the game and that we could lose the money we had to pay the dinner bill, he snatched the money from me and started playing slots and in the first few spins of the GalenE.T. machine he had already won 50 euros. But he didn't want to stop playing until I yelled at him:

Castri-ja: Stop playing greedy, you are greedy.

At that moment, GalenE.T. collected his winnings.

And in a fearful voice he said to me:

GalenE.T.: "What is it to be greedy?"

It was then when I explained to him that being greedy is being a person who compulsively and constantly wants to gain a good, without caring about the consequences it may cause to other people. And in this case without caring about losing my money.

And that's when GalenE.T. asked me

GalenE.T.: "Is it possible to be greedy for something other than money?"

So I had to explain to him that it applies to any good. And I had to give him the example of an acquaintance of mine who is a loan shark and those who are not able to repay the debt he takes away their cars and at present he accumulates several classic cars, even when he does not have a driver's license. And in this case his greed is to get hold of the nice cars of the people who turn to him for loans.

Uncomfortable with this situation, but happy because GalenE.T. gave me all the money I had earned, I told him that I wanted to go to Asturias and if I could call his spaceship. To which he answered me that he had already gone to Pan, which is one of the moons of Saturn. It was then when I asked him to rent a car in Porto and make the trip by road (5 hours) to which he replied that he had no problem and, therefore, we rented this Citroën C4.

A really uncomfortable moment

Obviously, unsurprisingly, GalenE.T. was not licensed to drive an Earth vehicle and it was my turn to drive the entire way while GalenE.T. on my laptop set out to watch a movie on Netflix entitled "Guardians of the Galaxy".

Source

The problem arose when I started GalenE.T. nervous crossing his legs constantly and his mouth half open almost drooling so I asked him:

Castri-ja: What's wrong with you GalenE.T?

To which GalenE.T. answered me:

Galen E.T.: "Gamora" "Gamora" "Gamora" "Gamora" "Gamora"
Galen E.T.: "I want sex with Gamora."

source

It was then that I explained to him, that he is a fictional character and does not really exist, so GalenE.T. was totally crushed that he did not fulfill his desire to have sex with Gamora and I had to explain to him that we humans have a solution in these situations.

GalenE.T. asked: "What solution do you have?"

To which I replied that there was the solution of masturbation.

GalenE.T.: "Masturbation?"

And then I explained to him that he could grab his penis with his three fingers and shake up and down his penis and let his mind focus on imagining what he would do with Gamora if they were alone.

Then GalenE.T. pulled down his pants and at that point I stopped him and told him to do it in private. That we would stop at the next service area and in the bathroom he could satisfy himself.

The bastard GalenE.T. must have been totally satisfied, because when he came back he had a smile like the one on this toast.

After getting into the car, he confessed to me that he had had a great time during the hours we shared, but that he had received a call to his transponder and that in a few minutes his ship would come to pick him up. So we said goodbye with the promise to see each other again at some point in our lives, to communicate through Discord from time to time and that he would keep reading my Hive posts and that he would somehow influence the big healing accounts and the whales to make my posts successful.

Now all that remains is for the latter to be fulfilled....