When I was about 8 years old an all female jazz band named "Mother of Pearl" played at an assembly at my elementary school. (I was a child prodigy at 6 playing drums and was always being complimented on my ability.) All my friends sitting cross legged in my grade's row turned to me and said "Look Carson, a girl's on drums! You'll be way better than her!" I agreed. I knew since I was a boy that I'd had her beat. I sat smugly while they introduced their drummer, Laurie Lister.
She proceeded to kick SERIOUS jazzy ass. I was so... Conflicted. I wasn't sure if my friends could even tell how technical she was, her hands were like lightning, it was nuts. I'd never seen someone play jazz live and even now having played jazz festivals I know how truly talented she was. She was playing with one hand at the speed I could play with two, and I was swallowing my words.
They ended their show and my friends looked at me with a confused face and said "..You're still better than her!" And I agreed, out of the pure ego driven lie I was drowning in. I was having a crisis at age 8 and was wondering why the world was feeding me lies about women's abilities. I had been lied to and I believed it, I had even perpetuated the lie because I was afraid to step out of line. I lied to everyone I saw about her talent level and tried to escape every conversation I had after their show.
I'm now a DJ for my city's youth events and sometimes I get to show a kid how to DJ. A female coworker saw some girls looking over my shoulder, too shy to ask me anything. She pulled them over to me and said "Here! Show them how to DJ" the girls looked like they were ready to bolt. I started showing them a few things and even got them to do some mixes. Turns out one of the girls had been wanting to become a DJ for a while but was too afraid to try it. When I asked why she said "I just didn't think I could do it". That surprised me, I said "Hey, everyone's a friggin' DJ these days, there isn't many girls doing it and it would be really cool if you did." She told me she was going to ask her parents if she could get equipment at the end of our conversation.
So Laurie Lister, you may have sparked a change in me that helped change many more people's lives. Go out and make a mark, go do the things they say you can't do. It's been 12 years but the ripple of that idea has spread out, and my view of women was altered permanently from that moment on.
Also, you didn't try to take something away from me Laurie! You deserve every bit of respect you get and not because you're a woman but because you're fucking killer on drums. Drumming didn't belong to my gender, it was and is ridiculous to say that. Until your group isn't introduced as a "female band" I'm not done going out of my way to encourage a young girl.
No, I didn't write this post to suck up to women. I wrote this to help a guy out there admit they had their ass handed to them by a woman and that it was OKAY.
Respect a master when you see one, in jeans or a skirt.
