I noticed you slipped a casual "dude" in there and actually and in all honesty I have offended women in the past by using "dude" in my own speech on Discord! Which to me, and the era I grew up in, "dude" is not a male-gendered term. Which of course was neither here not there when I offended a woman by starting a response to her with "dude". Words are tricky slippery beasts and emotions even moreso. I think you are right in that people need to call it out when they perceive something offensive is happening, and even moreso need to be willing to accept the validity of someone else being offended. It is all too easy to take the anonymity afforded by computer screens and usernames and use it as license to be shitty. Remembering these are all real people with real feelings and totally different perceptions and experiences can be hard, even overwhelming - but we should all try :)