nihilism

no body exist on purpose, but it seems some really enjoy it and I cant find interest in anything anymore. I wake up in the morning and if its before noon I'm automatically upset that I'm awake so early and gotta go back to life. Fuck life. I don't even have words for how I feel about it anymore. It pisses me off that by committing suicide people say that you took the easy way out. I can admire it. you took a journey with absolutely no idea what was going to happen. It sucks that you cant just do what you want without having to think about how others are going to feel about it and how bad it might fuck there life up. Ive battled in my head for many years with this bull shit and everyday I care a little less. I roll a little bigger joint everyday to try and forget its amazing I'm not a full on drug addict