Secrets of the Swamp EXPOSED

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I'm going to tell you a secret, concerning a monster of a tale. Remember that joke about “worthless, old swampland?” Having determined it was in slight need of a “modest” revision, a search yielded the ideal subject expert, capable of drilling down to the bottom of such claims. However unwittingly, the candidate served up a trove of astonishing proofs. Prepare to feast your fortunate eyes upon the Secrets of the Swamp, Exposed.

Our voyage takes us to a curiously mystical place, where floods of various viscosities spring forth, seemingly in perennial fashion, and colossal star-castles blossom from swamps – to the dammed land of windmills and dykes!

A Seven-Course Platter

1.) Secret Sauce
While a sustained barrage of catastrophic storms and cataclysms battered the Dutch for centuries, superficially – contributing to terrible loss of life, livestock and land – mountains of buried and compressed “dinosaur bones” simmered and brewed in the infernal kitchen below, under the ideal conditions to produce one of nature's finest ancient recipes: a sweet, sweet sauce, ripe to one day become the Netherlands' own field of dreams.

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2.) Field of Dreams – Europe's Largest Gas-field
That day arrived with the 1959 discovery of Europe's largest gas-field, in Groningen province, igniting an explosive fuel frenzy over the ensuing decades on a scale that the San Francisco gold rush, of 110 years prior, can barely hold a candle to. And, once again, the sea was parted – only this time divided into territorial economic zones.

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3.) Fortuitous Fortifications
Despite an otherwise glorious landscape, featuring sensational rivers, vibrant canals and a world-class collection of cutting edge waterworks, there's one terrain characteristic you won't find on a single picture-perfect Dutch postcard.

With zero mountains to boast of – constrained by a max-elevation of only 1000 ft! – what can be found, frequently festooning hilltops across the nation, appear to have cleverly compensated for this inadequacy. Arcing majestically toward the heavens, dominating the countryside for miles in all directions, reside enthusiastically-preserved castles: better-known as “Star Forts.”

Star Stronghold Bourtange
The “Star Fort” at Bourtange, tops the list of stellar examples of 'castles in the swamp,' erected primarily in sandy, extremely soggy conditions, in bold defiance of best engineering practices. It's construction transpiring over 400 years ago – allegedly during the early stages of a prolonged conflict with the Spanish Empire – the lofty structure at Bourtange would later emerge, remarkably unscathed.

Fortune followed the fortress into modern times, favouring it again in 1961. Two years out from the famed lucky strike, in its home province of Groningen, the quaint town of Bourtange scored full “investment funding” for a complete remodel of its beloved “star-fort.”

Whatever their original purpose, it's doubtful to conceive of modern initiatives more likely to lend additional value to the local real estate than fortifying the predominantly flat surrounding terrain with towering testaments to a glorious Old-World past – however demonstrably dubious their origin stories. Fittingly, another puzzle piece tumbles into place, and we begin to comprehend why the Netherlands, by “official” estimations, is home to the largest number of surviving, quasi-functional “star forts."

^{Monumental Claims:

Some have preposterously linked ulterior motives to these amazing structures, such as ...

» providing solid cover for the presence of so many operational canals.

» memorial/monument sites potentially plugging more than a few capped wells – er, gaping holes. Who knows what additional treasures lay unexposed?}

4.) Brown Gold: The Perfect "Soup Starter"

A "Big Oil" boon typically precipitates the unleashing of a veritable shit-storm of adverse effects upon the agricultural industry. This time, however, results would vary. Spectacularly!

Accordingly, the 1959 Groningen gas-field discovery promised the loss of large swaths of arable turf – already in dreadfully-short supply – to drilling, pipeline installation and related activities. To mitigate these devastating impacts, proud farmers and the nation's leading agricultural luminaries, implemented an aggressive optimization strategy.

The cornerstone of this ambitious undertaking focused around the fortuitous abundance of a unique "brown gold," a porous, super absorbent growth medium, famous for its ability to efficiently retain up to 20x its dry weight in water and nutrients. The dynamic properties of “peat soil,” helped fuel an explosive expansion of the downtrodden sector, spawning sprawling industrial-scale greenhouse operations that propelled the nation into second place, among food exporters.

At 2nd largest food exporter, by dollar value, the reigning U.S. champs, have no doubt observed this trajectory and fully understand, the “Masters of the Marsh,” would have their cake and eat it too!

Remarkably, this magical commodity thrives in: of all places, the same “worthless” swampy environment known to host its darker cousin. Peat is also a fuel; a precursor to coal, it's likewise empowered civilizations over the centuries. Never-mind geological surveys and LIDAR: you can bet wherever peat is found, oil is never far behind!

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5.) Myth-Busting Evaluation

On a hunch, I ventured to investigate whether spillover from the mounting refinements might lead to a corresponding shift in land values.

In the the fourth quarter of 2020, the avg cost of Netherlands' farmland was €74,100 avg. per hectare, making it, by far the most expensive in Europe, and over 10x the price of equivalent USA farmland, accounting for the conversion. (Each hectare contains approx 2.5 acres.)

I would like to take the opportunity, at this time, to rebuke a statement found on the most popular informational tool, frequented and unfortunately relied upon, by researchers and the general populous alike. With regards to the "Actual value of swampland," Wikipedia audaciously states, "The common usage of this term implies that swampland is worthless. Without development or some ability to develop it, it is not valuable for real estate purposes.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swampland_in_Florida

Perhaps the Wiki editors will take a moment to clarify this misleading bit of material.

6.) Sowing the Seeds of a Prodigious Population Density

The benefits of enhanced soil extend beyond monster yields in the plant department, additionally producing exceptional crops – in terms of both quantity and quality – of the human variety. Making the most of substantially limited confines, the Netherlands nonetheless maintains a thriving population, incredibly while offering the world's 5th highest standard of living.* By comparison, the USA, Canada and Britain – all fail to make the "top 10."

Most would be astonished to learn the Netherlands takes first place, in a related category. Though undoubtedly deriving a modicum of pleasure in the process, the Dutch outperformed the stiffest contenders, to earn the distinction of, most densely populous country in Europe – and most of Asia, to boot!

Netherlands Population: 17,165,198

Region	Population Density
Netherlands	508 per Km2 (1,316 people per mi2)
Europe	34 per Km2 (87 people per mi2)
Asia	150 per Km2 (387 people per mi2)
Source	Worldometer.info

7.) A Tall Order to Follow

Fittingly, those who've cultivated the rich Dutch soil seem to have flourished to famed heights in cadence with their hearty crops. It could be something in the air, in soil, water, perhaps a blend of the three – OR –

They just might be giants – potentially, at least distant remnants of them.

BBC reports:

"A land of giants, the Netherlands is the loftiest nation on Earth: the average height of a Dutch man is 182.5cm...”
www.bbc.com/travel/story/20200823-why-are-the-dutch-so-tall

There's no mistaking our tall cousins' uncanny affinity for ancient swamp castles, to accompany a brilliant adeptness for engineering and maintaining a suite of similarly-colossal barriers and structures, vast enough to float a boat through.

A Staggering Conclusion to Stew Over

Were swamp monsters, bog creatures and other horrors concocted in a Hollywood lab, as part of a "swamp-psy-op," designed to muddy the waters and artificially suppress land values, until the appropriately opportune moment for corporate behemoths to “explore” and purchase it, for nickels on the dollar?

Although a tiny microcosm of the bigger picture, the Netherlands testifies to the actual worth of swamps and associated wetlands, like no other. Recovering from a deluge of early catastrophes and prolific apparent "restarts," the Dutch model also proves these successes are scaleable. Revealed before us, rays of sunshine sear through the fugue – and we begin to awaken into a future full of bright possibilities.