PART 1
For the purpose of this class, i would only treat the first 3 'table of contents' of this topic.
10 Things This Guide Will Teach You
Table of Contents
Why Is It so Hard to Stick to Good Habits?
The Common Mistake You Want to Avoid
The Science of How Your Habits Work
IdentityBased Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals
The Best Way to Start a New Habit
How to Fit New Habits into Your Life
How to Make Big Changes Without Overwhelming Yourself
How to Get Back on Track After Slipping up
How to Break a Bad Habit (and Replace It With a Good One)
How to Slowly Eliminate Bad Habits
The Next Step: Where to Go From Here
It seems to be remarkably easy to fall into unhealthy routines.
★ Eating junk food.
★ Watching TV instead of going to the gym.
★ Showing up to a job you hate everyday.
★ Biting your nails.
★ Smoking.
There’s no shortage of unhealthy and unproductive behaviors. And we all struggle with them
from time to time.
But why? You want to live a healthy, fulfilling, and remarkable life. And every now and then you
probably get really motivated and inspired to make a change. So how come it is more likely that
this time next year you'll be doing the same thing rather than something better? Why is it so
hard to stick to good habits?
I believe that it is because we usually try to make changes in the wrong way. And in this guide,
I'm going to share a blend of science and realworld experiences that share a better strategy for
making longterm changes in your life.
Let's get started.
“Your audacious life goals are fabulous. We’re proud of you for having them. But it’s
possible that those goals are designed to distract you from the thing that’s really
frightening you—the shift in daily habits that would mean a re–invention of how you
see yourself.”—Seth Godin
Transformations and overnight successes get a lot of hype. (For good reason, who wouldn't want to be more successful in less time?)
But here's the problem: when you hear about a dramatic transformation (like someone losing
100 pounds) or a incredible success story (like someone building a million dollar business in 1
year), the only thing you know is the event that people are talking about. You don't hear
anything about the process that came before it or about the habits that led to the eventual result.
It's easy to let these incredible stories trick you into doing too much, too soon. I know I've done
it. When you get motivated and inspired to take your life to the next level, it's so easy to get
obsessed with the result. I need to lose 20 pounds (or 40 or 60 or 100). I need to squat 300
pounds (or 400 or 500). I need to meditate 3 days per week (or 5 or 7).
Or thousands of other variations of your life goals.
It's natural to think that we need the result, the transformation, the overnight success. But that's
not what you need. You need better habits.
It’s so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value
of making better decisions on a daily basis.
Almost every habit that you have — good or bad — is the result of many small decisions over
time. And if this is true, if the problems you’re facing now are the result of thousands of small
decisions made over the course of years, then wouldn’t it make sense that path to success,
health, strength, joy, fulfillment, meaning, and vitality would also be through thousands of daily
decisions?
And yet, how easily we forget this when we want to make a change.
When you become obsessed with achieving a result quickly, the only thing you think about is
how to get to your goal, and you forget to realize that our process for achieving goals is just as
important as whether or not you achieve them at all. The desire to achieve results quickly fools
you into thinking that the result is the prize.
But here's the truth…
Becoming the type of person you want to become — someone who lives by a stronger standard,
someone who believes in themselves, someone who can be counted on by the people that matter
to them — is about the daily process you follow and not the ultimate product you achieve.
Why is this true? Because your life today is essentially the sum of your habits.
How in shape or out of shape you are? A result of your habits.
How happy or unhappy you are? A result of your habits.
How successful or unsuccessful you are? A result of your habits.
What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately
forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray.
The most common mistake that people make is setting their sights on an event, a
transformation, an overnight success they want to achieve – rather than focusing on their habits
and routines.
I've been guilty of this just like everyone else. And even today, I'm still learning how to master
my habits just like you.
But over time, I've discovered a helpful blend of academic research and real world experiences
that have allowed me to make progress in many areas of life. In this guide, I want to share that
progress with you so that you can avoid chasing another overnight success and actually stick to
your goals for the longterm.
.Let's get started by talking about the science of sticking to good habits.
3.The Science of How Your Habits Work (The
3 R's of Habit Change)
There is a simple 3–step pattern that every habit follows. I call this pattern the “3 R's of Habit
Change” and it goes like this...
Step One:Your phone rings (reminder). This is the reminder that initiates the behavior. The
ring acts as a trigger or cue to tell you to answer the phone. It is the prompt that starts the
behavior.
Step Two:You answer your phone (routine). This is the actual behavior. When your phone
rings, you have a habit of answering it.
Step Three:You find out who is calling (reward). The reward is the benefit gained from doing
the behavior. In this case, the reward for completing the habit was satisfying your curiosity to
find out why the other person was calling you.
Result:If the reward is positive, then the cycle forms a positive feedback loop that tells your
brain, “Next time this reminder happens, do the same thing.” (i.e. When the phone rings again,
answer it.)
Follow this same cycle enough times and you'll stop thinking about it. Your behavior will just
become a habit.
How can you use this structure to create new habits and actually stick to them?
Here’s how…
Step 1: Use a Current Habit as the Reminder for Your New
One
If you talk to your friends about starting a new habit, they might tell you that you need to
exercise self–control or that you need to find a new dose of willpower.
I disagree.
Getting motivated and trying to remember to do a new behavior is the exact wrong way to go
about it. If you think about this, it makes sense. Sometimes you feel motivated and sometimes
you don't, right? So why would you want to rely on motivation (something that changes) to
create a new habit (something that you want to be consistent)?
This is why the reminder – the trigger for your new behavior – is such a critical part of forming
new habits. A good reminder makes it easier for you to start your habit by encoding your new
behavior in something that you already do, rather than relying on getting motivated.
For example, I created a new habit of flossing each day by always doing it after brushing my
teeth. The act of brushing my teeth was something that I already did and it acted as the trigger
or cue to do my new behavior.
To make things even easier and prevent myself from having to remember to floss, I bought a
bowl, placed it next to my toothbrush, and put a handful of pre–made flossers in it. Now I see
the floss every time I reach for my toothbrush.
Setting up a visible reminder and linking my new habit with a current behavior made it much
easier to change. No need to be motivated. No need to remember.
How to Choose Your Reminder
It doesn’t matter if it’s working out or eating healthy or creating art, you can’t expect yourself to
magically stick to a new habit without setting up a system that makes it easier to start. And for
that reason, picking the correct reminder for your new habit is the first step to making change
easier.
The reminder that you choose to initiate your new behavior is specific to your life and the habit
that you're trying to create.
The best way I know to discover a good reminder for your new habit is to write down two lists.
In the first list, write down the things that you do each day without fail.
For example…
★ Get in the shower.
★ Put your shoes on.
★ Brush your teeth.
★ Flush the toilet.
★ Sit down for dinner.
★ Turn the lights off.
★ Get into bed.
You’ll often find that many of these items are daily health habits like washing your face, drinking
morning tea, brushing your teeth, and so on. Those actions can act as reminders for new health
habits. For example, “After I drink my morning tea, I meditate for 60 seconds.”
In the second list, write down the things that happen to you each day...
★ You stop at a red light.
★ You get a text message.
★ A commercial comes on TV.
★ A song ends.
★ The sun sets.
These events can also act as triggers for your new habit. For example, if you wanted to “When a
commercial comes on TV, I do five pushups.”
With these two lists, you’ll have a wide range of things that you already do and already respond
to each day. Those are the perfect reminders for new habits.
For example, let’s say you want to feel happier. Expressing gratitude is one proven way to boost
happiness. Using the list above, you could pick the reminder “sit down for dinner” and use it as a
cue to say one thing that you’re grateful for today.
“When I sit down for dinner, I say one thing that I’m grateful for today.”
That’s the type of small behavior that could blossom into a more grateful outlook on life in
general.
Step 2: Make Your Habits Incredibly Easy to Start
Make it so easy you can’t say no.
—Leo Babauta
As I mentioned in the beginning of this guide, it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in the desire
to make massive changes in your life. We watch incredible weight loss transformations and
think that we need to lose 30 pounds in the next 4 weeks. We see elite athletes on TV and wish
that we could run faster and jump higher tomorrow. We want to earn more, do more, and be
more … right now.
I’ve felt those things too, so I get it. And in general, I applaud the enthusiasm. I’m glad that you
want great things for your life and I want to do what I can to help you achieve them. But it’s
important to remember that lasting change is a product of daily habits, not onceinalifetime
transformations.
If you want to start a new habit and begin living healthier and happier, then I have one
suggestion that I cannot emphasize enough: start small. In the words of Leo Babauta, “make it
so easy that you can’t say no.”
How small? Stanford professor BJ Fogg suggests that people who want to start flossing begin by
flossing only one tooth. Just one.
In the beginning, performance doesn’t matter. What does matter is becoming the type of person
who always sticks to your new habit – no matter how small or insignificant it seems. You can
build up to the level of performance that you want once the behavior becomes consistent.
Your homework: Pick a new habit you want to start. Now ask yourself, “How can I make this
new behavior so easy to do that I can’t say no?”
Step 3: Always Reward Yourself
It’s important to celebrate. (I think that’s just as true in life as it is with habits.)
When it comes to sticking to better habits, there is an important reason to always reward
yourself: we want to continue doing things that make us feel good.
And that is why it’s especially important that you reward yourself each time you practice your
new habit.
For example, if I’m working towards a new fitness goal, then I’ll often tell myself at the end of a
workout, “That was a good day.” Or, “Good job. You made progress today.”
If you feel like it, you could even tell yourself “Victory!” or “Success!” each time you do your new
habit.
I haven’t done this myself, but some people swear by it.
★ Floss one tooth. “Victory!”
★ Eat a healthy meal. “Success!”
★ Do five pushups. “Good work!”
Rewarding yourself with positive self–talk can take some getting used to if you’re not Endorsed caesar816
who typically does that. But even if it sounds silly, research has proven that the reward is an
important part of the habit process. Give yourself some credit and enjoy each small success.
Related note: Make sure that the habits you are trying to build are actually important to you.
It’s tough to find a reward in something when you’re only doing it because you think other
people expect it or would approve it. It's your life, so make sure you're spending your time
on things that are important to you.
Now that we've covered the science of habit formation, we would talk about how to apply it in real life, some time next week.
Thank you all for reading. Watch out for the continuation. Have a nice week ahead.
