Better days...

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I’m feeling better than I did yesterday and the day before that. I don’t know if I’m gonna be happy about it or not. I mean, for the meantime of course, yes I’m happy. But what about in the long run?

You see, the downside of me feeling better is I couldn’t get myself to tell them again I need help. I can and do whenever I feel like I need it right away but they always seem to forget. Whenever I’m ok I just can’t help but smile and laugh like nothing happened.

My sister is getting married soon. They’re preoccupied and I honestly don’t wanna ruin the fun and excitement they’re having. I’m happy for her because she’s happy and all I ever want is the best for her.

So I’ve been thinking, will writing be enough to cure me? If I try really really hard, will it help me feel better and be better? If I channel all my frustrations in drawing or writing or singing and try not to think too much about things, will it help? I’ve done all of these things before but I would do it all again over and over if I can change things little by little. Because until things get lighter, I don’t think I’ll be able to find a doctor.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can write my frustrations without making the readers feel down? Because that’s what I wanna do. I don’t wanna bombard you guys with sadness, but rather spread positivity.

I’m never going to stop hoping for better days and I’m never going to stop trying to get there. One day I WILL be there.