I disagree... but i digress.

The problem with narcissism and narcissistic traits is that it leads one to believe there is a spectrum.
But there isn't. It is a break. A break that modern psychology doesn't have a clue of how to fix.

The trigger is shame and not really abandonment . (although abandonment can easily feed into the shame)
There are several spots in growing up where you have to let go of one ego to form a bigger ego.

About the age of 2 (the terrible twos, going from being a part of mother to being a separate being)
About the age of 5 (going from "i" only to seeing that there are more individuals)
About the age of 13 (going from the small world of the family, to the larger world as a whole)

At these points there is a lot of shame. And if there is too much shame, the axis of belief can move so far as to take one completely out of the plane. (rotating further than 90°)

Once you have gone too far in that rotation, you lose connection to empathy.
Are completely shut off. And are forever a narcissist.
The narcissist can learn to not be such a pain to others, but it is taught, it is never ingrained into the person, it is always a higher level function.
However, the narcissist will never know what it is like to emote with another person.
(although they are often very good at mimicking it)

So, a narcissist usually knows they are not like others.
The best way to determine narcissism is to give them a sheet of narcissistic traits and ask them if they are a narcissist. It works surprisingly well and accurately.

Those who are wondering if they are a narcissist are not. If you wonder, if you ponder about it, you are not.
However, these people were usually raised and abused by a narcissist, and so have a lot of narcissistic tendencies.

So, my view is that these two are separate.
The spectrum of narcissistic tendencies.
Those who are narcissists.

And, oh yes, the Covert, or shy Narcissist is a huge pain in the ass. (literally)
So hard to tell if they are just a passive-aggressive asshole or a narcissist (who are all passive-aggressive, gas-lighting, assholes)