This is one of the things i HATE about christianity.

Instead of giving their flock the tools and skills to meet God themselves,
they say, oh no, don't do that yourself, let us do it for you.
We will get the word and give it to you.

Every philosopher ponders if God is real.
Most highly-spiritual people do not ponder, they KNOW God is real from personal interaction.
Of course, someone who has not had these personal experiences call you crazy.

Fortunately it is not a course of learning to believe more.
My belief circuits got burned out long ago when i found out how much Christianity was lying to me.
But, through meditation and healing, i made a connection. The most important connection i have ever made.