My entire life, I have tried to put others first. Whether it be based on someone's schedule or needs, I took pride in being that friend that did everything for everyone when they needed it. I often went to lunches I didn't want to go to. I would skip a workout or manicure just because a friend needed something. I worked 12 hour days because I didn't want to let my boss down. To say I was a people pleaser was an understatement.
At the same time, I often felt like I was overlooked. Friends didn't feel bad when they canceled. Changing my plans for someone wasn't being nice, it was almost expected. It could have even been the way I interpreted it but often times, I wondered...do my friends even care that my whole day is flipped upside down for them?
And then one day, I went for drinks with a friend and gained an entirely different perspective. She was telling me about her recent conversation with her therapist about her dating life. Her therapist looked her in the eye and said "How can someone make you a priority, when you don't even make yourself a priority?"
What an interesting way to look at it. All of this time, I was actually trying to help others, but really I was hurting myself. In today's world, it is so easy to get caught up in the world around you. However, it is so important to do things you want to do. Of course, you appreciate life more when you are happy. It's such an amazing feeling to get up and be able to do what you want to do. But also, when you do make yourself a priority, everyone else does too.
Just recently, I started feeling these same feelings that I once had again. I remembered that conversation I had with my friend. Lately, I have been revolving around everyone's schedule but my own. It is okay to make someone a priority but they should make you one too.
The moral of the story is this: Do what it is you love, when you want to do it, with the people you care about. Everything else will fall into place.
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