On February 13th, Wentworth Miller posted on Facebook and said something that really resonated with me.
"Today self-care looked like recognizing and accepting that some people will model for me what I want and want to be, and others will model what I don't want and don't want to be... Both are of service. Both have value."
About a year ago, the Universe brought someone into my life, and while I had to end it on not-so-great terms, (and yes I have proof that it was me that made this decision, NOT her...hard to shed the ego here), I believe I learned a lot from this person, even though she modeled what I don't wan't to be.
Near the end of 2015, I got a new Twitter follower.....someone semi-famous, that I recognized from her role in a television show that I enjoyed many years ago. She found me by going to one of my other semi-famous friend's Twitter accounts, to find people who might be interested in her business. In February 2016, I ordered the service that she provides (I am being vague to protect her privacy because the point of this post is not who she is, just the lessons I learned from her), and we seemed to really 'click' with each other. Over the year, we had many phone calls (some lasting over 2 hours) of just chats about her life experiences, a little about me, and quite a bit about other people. I never liked the negative talk about others, but I went with it just so she could vent about things. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. There were many e-mails, private messages and chats over the year. Most would consider this a "friendship", and despite her claims that I thought it was a "friendship", I did not consider it that because friendships are two sided, not one sided. The funny thing is, I never had her phone number. It was always blocked, but she had mine. Therefore, it can never be said that any phone conversations were initiated by me.
Then one day, she said she was overwhelmed and did not want to chat privately anymore. I was fine with this, everyone needs space sometimes, but the conversation started up a few days later, and the conversation was initiated by her. This was followed by a complaint about someone she knows that had given her trouble in the past, but was now being nice and peaceful. All this woman did was ask a simple question, to which set this other person that I had been talking to, in what seemed to be, a rage, claiming she couldn't ever be friends with anyone. I replied peacefully, reiterating that I was fine not being her friend. This led to quite a nasty and negative message from her claiming that I did something against her. The truth is, and I won't go into details, is that what she was claiming I did against her is an act that she ASKED me to do for her months prior to help her figure something out, which I did as I was asked, then got slammed for it. I made the decision to cut ties because I could no longer deal with the paranoia, trash talk about others (especially the ones where she was nice to them publicly and privately directly to them, but talked bad about them behind their backs which means she more than likely has done the same to me). Despite all this, I made a promise that I would never share her private information, and I never will, but I do have the right to vent and stand up for myself against any mean, vague posts, which I watched her do to a few other people just to try to get under their skin.
While I do not want her to spy on me, or have others check my social media sites as she had me do to others during the time we got along, she can post whatever vague or even direct posts claiming whatever she wants to. I know the truth, and that is good enough for me. I did momentarily feel 'irked' at her behavior, which is why I write this blog, but it never hurt me, never got under my skin and never will. I cut all ties and blocked her on every social media site that I could.
Honestly, I wish her nothing but light and love, and hope she finds peace.
I have learned that even the most seemingly amazing people with the most amazing abilities can be toxic just like any other person alive. I always thought that people with abilities who are enlightened would be peaceful and have a greater understanding of how their actions can hurt people (not me, but I have witnessed the hurt of others). The lesson I learned is to avoid stereotypes, even if those stereotypes are positive.
Remember: If it won't matter in five years, don't spend more than five minutes being angry about it!
