The fastest way to take yourself out of the game is to think these 3 thoughts. It’s not fair.
How do I know? Because I’ve tried it... many a time.
We all get into the victim space ... poor me...
It’s not fair...
Why do I have to build the whole comp plan?
Why did they get lucky and get a builder to build for them?
Why do they get to cheat and still get put up in lights?
Why do I always have to cook the dinner?
Why do I always have to take care of the details?
Does anyone else clean the loo around here?
Why aren’t they even grateful for everything I’ve done for them?
They wouldn’t be earning half what they do if it wasn’t for me.
IT’S NOT FAIR. Seems a lot like justifying and blaming and complaining to me. We hear all sorts of variations don’t we?
Why did they get invited?
Why didn’t I get asked?
Why do they get more attention than me?
Why do they visit those friends and not me?
Why don’t they do that for me?
IT’S NOT FAIR. Seems a 5 year olds response to life...yet as adults here we find ourselves finding a way to justify not being where we want to be, or not getting what we see others have.
IT’S NOT FAIR.
I’m always the one doing all the work.
I’m always the one showing up.
Does no-one else want to help out here?
Why did they know about that promo first?
She’s their favourite, she always gets ahead.
IT’S NOT FAIR.
They just got lucky.
They don’t have the troubles I have.
They don’t understand what it’s like to work full time and still have no money.
They don’t understand what it’s like to have a partner who doesn’t help at all.
There are two of them, I’m only one.
They don’t have kids, they don’t get how hard it is.
IT’S NOT FAIR. Seems like giving away our power to change. Because it’s not fair means it happened to us, and it’s out of our control. It means we just didn’t get the same chance to get ahead.
For every moment we spend sulking about how fair life is NOT, we lose a moment of taking our power in our hands and creating a different life.
Here’s the really big question though.
IT’S NOT FAIR... COMPARED TO WHAT?
Being born in a third world country?
Having no legs and arms?
Having ALL of your children die of starvation before the age of 5?
Being repeatedly raped and tortured for over 20 years of your life?
Being imprisoned wrongly for crime you did not commit?
Being born in another era where men went to war and women had no rights at all.
Being a slave because you are black?
What’s not fair is life. It never was and it never will be.
What’s not fair is that we have so much opportunity sitting right in front of us, yet we flit it away in the wind. We use pathetic excuses like ‘it’s not fair’, and ‘I don’t feel worthy’ and ‘money is bad’ to play small.
What’s not fair is that despite the head start we have been gifted by being born in a first world country, and KNOWING about a business model that has barely any risk, and mostly all reward, still we choose to find in our minds all the reasons it’s still not fair... all the sad little reasons to stay stuck where we are instead of grab it and run. We choose to give our power away to tiny, weeny problems that people in third world countries would be so grateful to have.
And in choosing to believe it’s not fair... we choose a life of barely getting by, of just managing to scrape enough together to take care of ourselves, and to have nothing left spare to help anyone else.
What’s not fair is that we have more opportunity and more ability to make more of a difference than most, yet we shaft our responsibility to do so by using those 3 little words... IT’S NOT FAIR.
