Today I had planned to take part in a 90 km route. I was excited because it was also going to be the first time I used my new cycling shoes. However, things happened… that kept me from sleeping, and I woke up with a migraine creeping into my jaws. You simply can’t cycle 90 km like that. Do you know what I think when I ride long distances? I’ll tell you at the end of this outpouring. Ok, I can’t really say I woke up… because the sleep was interrupted so many times that I can’t say I slept at all. Tossing and turning in bed, sweaty, desperate, listening now and then to the buzzing of mosquitoes; no electricity to run the fan or the air conditioning… it’s a situation that can truly drive you mad. At 7 in the morning the electricity came back and I didn’t know whether to take advantage and sleep with the fan and air conditioning on, or get up and make coffee and quickly mow the lawn with the electric mower, or write a post for Hive, or start cooking the day’s meal… I made coffee, two arepas, and sat on the roof of the house to look at a lamp lit, one of those public service ones, and to think how much of a luxury it was to see it like that… shining. I enjoyed the coffee while telling a friend about my hardships and at the same time watching birds and butterflies fly. A squirrel or two also looked at me from the mango tree. When I finished the coffee the street lamp went out, my neighbour’s water pump that makes an unbearable noise stopped too, and her son shouted: ‘Anaray, the power’s gone again.’ We’re getting electricity for less than 3 hours a day and no one knows when it will be. It’s very likely that anyone who hasn’t lived this cannot even imagine all the stress it causes, besides many other things related to the functioning of an entire country. A few minutes ago I read a post here and felt afraid that my friend might drift away from me because of the suffering I cause him by telling him everything I tell. I feel very selfish for confiding in him, in fact. And I understand that other people may have decided to distance themselves from me because of the suffering my mere presence brings. This is an outpouring… because I feel that sometimes I just can’t take it anymore. And these photos are few, because even that I’ve neglected: my outings to take pictures… I’m sorry. I’ll try to do something later to see if I feel better. What I think about when I’m cycling – especially over long distances – is that I’ve finally managed to escape from here and even from myself. And I really don’t want to go back.

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