Hypothetical post

Hello and happy Saturday afternoon. Let's consider a hypothetical situation in which I wrote a post today. Would you read it? And if so, why?

I realize you could opt to not read the hypothetical post, but I'm only interested in the possible scenario where reading the hypothetical post is the outcome. If you're not going to bother reading it then this whole thought experiment kind of breaks down, because it's really quite a good post which is why you're going to hypothetically read it.

The hypothetical post in question would likely explore a worthy theme, engage the reader both intellectually and emotionally, feature compelling original photography, and use short simple sentences arranged into easily digestible paragraphs. It might also promise to award 1, 5, or perhaps even as much as 10 hypothetical Hive to the person who leaves the best comment, as judged by myself after hypothetically writing it.

The hypothetical post would also likely involve a lot of in-depth investigative research and original reporting, as hypothetically speaking at least I'm unwilling to attach my name to something hypothetical that isn't of the utmost quality. I would scour the internet for hypothetical facts and interview dozens of independent hypothetical sources. No hypothetical stone would go unturned in my relentless search for the truth.

Does this still sound like something you'd hypothetically like to read? I certainly hope so. Because I'm already pretty heavily and hypothetically invested in this project, and it would be a shame if nobody noticed all my hard hypothetical work. You have no idea how much hypothetical frustration a writer experiences when the hypothetical post he's putting so much time and effort into thinking about writing doesn't get anywhere close to the amount of hypothetical attention it clearly deserves. Hypothetically, it's enough to drive him back to the bottle to try and drink the pain away again just like that last hypothetical bender he went on. You wouldn't want to be responsible for that hypothetical situation, would you?

Let's now consider another hypothetical situation in which I needed you to help me go kill someone today. Would you do it? Yes? Why thank you very much, I appreciate the help. Everyone is definitely going to remember remember the 9th of April. History will not forget our brave actions today as we rise up and serve sweet, sweet justice on behalf of all like us who are downtrodden and oppressed by those who took the power we gave them and became corrupted beyond salvation by it. Here's your pistol. Let's roll.

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