Now listen here, Winter!
We have had just about enough of you
and your wintry
and wonderlandly shenanigans,
do you hear?
The other day we decided that
'twas just about time
for us to tell you that
'tis just about time
for you to pack up your things,
and get yourself gone,
if you please.
So, away with you now!
Melt yourself out of these hills
and into the valleys!
Make way for spring,
if you please!
For you have overstayed your welcome.
We are sick of the cold,
and the ice and the gloom,
and the snow.
We have had it up to here with your snowdrifts,
snowbanks,
snowdays,
snowflakes,
snowballs,
snowmelts,
snowfalls,
snowbelts,
snowplows,
snowpacks,
snowbirds,
snowcats,
snowcaps,
snowsleds,
snowscapes,
snowsheds,
snowslides,
snowfields,
snowcones,
snowmobiles,
snowshoes,
snowstorms,
snowboards,
and snowsports.
And we've become weary,
so incredibly weary!
Weary of building all these snow castles,
and snow fortifications,
and snow machines of war,
to wreak such bloody unbelievable havoc and destruction
upon this frozen barren wasteland!
Supremely bored,
we are!
Bored of stacking up all these hundreds of thousands of snowpeople,
and imbuing them with life,
and sending them out to enact our will
and enforce our reign of terror
throughout this grand new empire of ours!
We've tired,
we've grown so truly tired!
Tired of triggering all these avalanches
to bury our unsuspecting targets alive in their sleep at night,
right when they least expect it!
We've lost the joy,
we have!
Lost the joy of having all this hail and ice and blizzardry at our every beck and call,
available to rain down pain and poverty and death
upon all who resist our unstoppable advance,
at any time,
and anywhere!
It's really all just getting kind of old, Winter.
So if you could step things up
and let the next season settle in here
a little bit sooner than later,
that'd be great.
Thanks.
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🏔
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2-8-22. Are you struggling with cabin fever this winter? Well okay. Good luck with that, nobody cares.
