...ON Being IN LOVE with ME...
I am partaking in herb less frequently lately.
I'm honoring the plant instead of over-use or abuse.
Two nights ago, I had a profound experience with her.
An experience of remembrance.
Of a knowing I have tapped into but that I sometimes "forget."
Mary J helped me remember that all the "outside world" experiences, aka the other people in my life and their experiences, my relationships, even my own music are are messages and universal reflections of MY OWN LIFE IN 3D.
It helped me tap into the profound realization that
THIS IS MY ORGASM
WHAT DO I WANT my life to look like?
WHO do I want in my life?
What experiences bring me joy?
I'm here for me to make this life on earth in this body the best experience possible.
Don't I DESERVE TO FEEL AMAZING?
YES!
It's hard being in my parents home as an adult. Especially in a household where sexuality is not only not celebrated, but is viewed as shameful.
I felt like the healing I sang about- the sacred freedom I achieved in Asheville that I didn't want to forget- had slipped from my fingers..
I became conscious of this gloomy cloud that is sometimes present here, in this home where I often feel oppressed.
But I found the healing within me again.
It doesn't have to be loud- although naturally I am loud.
Love is loud.
-The other day I "made out" with my leg-
A sign of affection for myself.
When I'm alone without social interaction,
When I am not being good company for myself, IN LOVE, funny and relaxed,
When I'm forgetting to love myself how YOU love me
then I may cultivate an unhealthy relationship with social media- the only social and connection outlet I have.
Wanting to be seen, heard and valued.
But attachment to social media is HARMFUL.
Especially when you don't get the validation or attention you think you want.
So What routines help shift my day away from a need for validation and into empowerment, release, and self love?
Journaling and Vlogging
They help me to create space in my head for the present moment
Movement and exercise helps to get rid of stagnant energy and to feel strong and empowered
Making noise helps to tune into my primal self
Self care/check in and conversation- Know I love myself
Release and Allow practice- Going through the various levels of emotion helps to express them and tune into them even if i'm not experiencing an emotional rollercoaster at the time
Silent time-
Learn how to LET GO of thoughts and whatever doesn't serve me
