I can't imagine how hard that must have been. My wife is a firm believer that trauma is generational, so at some point someone needs to get help or it is going to just keep getting passed along. It might not look the same, but the traces are there. In the end though, it sounds like the good memories are more than the bad and that's all we can really hope for I think. My mom and dad seemed to grow closer when he retired and my sister and I finally moved out of the house. I guess that's the way it works.