Don't assume that if other people let you down it's because they don't care or you're not worth caring about.
In busy modern life it can be a struggle for people to always follow through on everything they've said they'll do. If someone you care about seems to forget about you or lets you down, it may not be that they don't care. They may be overwhelmed or have overcommitted themselves, or they may be experiencing pressures you're not aware of. Sometimes the reason people "flake" is related to their depression or other mental health factors. It's common for people to react to feeling embarrassed about this by becoming avoidant. When this happens, people typically fail to clearly communicate when they're not able to follow through in the time frame they've indicated. If you're prone to a lack of self-confidence, it's easy to personalize this, rather than see it as their issue. Try not to jump to the conclusion that you're low on someone's priority list.
Unconfident people often get extremely stressed out if they need to change a plan or if they want to change their mind. You might find yourself ruminating about whether the other person/people involved is/are going to be mad at you. It's really difficult to accurately gauge when you're being a pain in the butt to someone else. There will be times you think you're being annoying and the other person isn't bothered at all. Equally, there will be times when you're driving someone nuts without realizing it. Keep in mind that it's very difficult to guess someone else's perspective. There are certainly times when someone else wants to change a plan and the change suits me better. Or, perhaps you might raise a concern that has also been bugging the other person or that they didn't think of but they're glad you thought of it.
People often feel stuck in problem patterns that feel too big to fix. In fact, you may be able to make very simple changes that greatly improve whatever your problem is. For example, you could start improving your teamwork by making one positive comment at every meeting you attend. Solutions that improve a problem by only 1% can have a big impact. When you start making very small changes, it can open your eyes to other easy changes you could make with very little effort or sacrifice.
RE: Musing Posts