Falling in love with Jon is all she ever wanted, she had dreamt about that moment right from the moment she saw him and wished they be together. Mel is a smart and beautiful lady who just started out a channel on YouTube as an entertainment vlogger, then Jon came into the picture. At the initial stage, their relationship was a beautiful one as they both enjoyed each other's company.
Jon is a very interesting person whose character began to show in time. He began to question everything she does, like when she picks her male friends call he would act like she did something outrightly wrong. He didn't need to tell her to stop but his actions said it all, so she stopped picking calls from her male friends and a few of the female ones who Jon didn't like. "This is the right thing to do, I love him so I should do what he wants", so she thought.
As time went on he wanted her to get a job as he wants her to be a career woman. However, this was not what she wanted, she is not cut out for an office job...rather she is a social butterfly who wants to grow her YouTube channel as an "entertainment breaker" while she navigate the world of entertainment.
There her nightmare started, no matter how she tried to explain to him, he already had his mind made up. "If you love me, you would do what I want. Or don't you want to be with me?", he asked and continued on. "I am not doing this for me, I am doing it for us...for you. Working in an office would fit you perfectly well." Making it seem like he is doing it for her sake and not because he wants it.
She quit the channel and started a search for a job....eventually got a decent paying job but her happiness was lost. She lost the glow she once had, as she could no longer do what she loved doing. As time went by, she stopped other things that Jon didn't like because she "loved" him.
One fateful day as she drove to work, an inspirational quotes came on the radio....
Once you don’t have freedom and you’re obliged to do many things you don’t want, and it becomes a routine, then your identity is at stake because you can feel that you are not anymore yourself, that you are what they want you to be – and you can lose yourself. ~ Ingrid Betancourt
And THAT is how you fall into an abusive relationship: when you start acting in a way so as not to upset the other person or set them off. You’ve given away control of your own life, bit by bit, bit by bit. It’s incremental, until one day, you have hidden so much of yourself you get lost. ~ Rose McGowan
As simple as it sound, those were the words she needed to hear at that time. She has been living a life just to please her partner, she thought as far as she loved him then it is fine even if it means giving up what she loves and being cut off from important people in her life. She found a place to park her car while she took some time to think and re-evaluate the situation. After much thought she realized that she had been living to fit in the picture he has in his head.
It was not a question of if she loved him or not but a question of, was she happy doing all that....making all those sacrifices. Yes, sacrifices can be made but not at the detriment of her own happiness on the long run. With this newly found realization, she turned the car around ready to find herself again even if it meant putting an end to the relationship.
You are important and your happiness matters. Loving someone should not make you stop caring for yourself, instead that is when you need to be careful not to lose yourself. Grow with your partner as you both do things you love individually, you don't have to be together 24/7. Take time apart to explore live but grow together doing so. Sacrifices can be made but not one that would jeopardize your happiness on the long run. Be with someone who supports your goals and push you towards your dreams as you also support his.
Click on images for the source, images used are from pixabay...except otherwise specified. 💮
"I am 
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