Recently we found out that my parents pup Chloe, had a mass in her lungs. This was several weeks ago and since then, she had a few small seizures, which has now led to her basically going through bouts of lethargy and just not being herself.
I kept trying to convince myself that she would snap out of it as they put her on medication...but it deep down inside I knew where this road was leading to. I just didn’t know we would arrive there so quickly.
Tonight
My family is super close so Chloe as are all the pets in the household, are naturally all viewed as a part of the family. Chloe especially as my pops brought her everywhere. Birthday party fir one of my nephews...Chloe is there. Visiting my mom in the care facility? You bet Chloe is soaking up all the love from the patients. She’s one of the sweetest things this earth has created.
That’s why when I got the call from my dad tonight telling me that her condition had worsened, my heart sank. I rushed over there and along with my Dad, my sister Marcia, and my nieces and nephew...we all showered Chloe with all the love we could muster when we weren’t balling our eyes out like faucets.
I’ll write up something more detailed and profound tomorrow. I can’t fucking do it right now as I just want to wallow and curse the world for being so cruel...but it looks as if tomorrow morning I’ll be assisting my dad in what is sure to be one of the hardest moments of our lives as we say goodbye to Chloe.
Please give your fur babies a kiss right now and shower them with love. Our time together is never long enough. This just snuck up out of nowhere. She’s only 9 and I was playing catch with her just a couple of weeks back thinking everything was normal. Not a sign in the world that just a short time later, I’d be assisting my dad in saying our final goodbyes.
It’s not fair. It’s fucking brutal. I am almost 40 years old and I still can’t properly comprehend and deal with loss properly. I don’t know how to do it. I know I’m not unique in this. I know I’m
Not the first person to experience loss but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to handle it in a healthy manner.
I’m going to try to get some sleep as tomorrow is going to be draining. Kiss your angels. Cherish every second as one day, you’ll be writing something similar. I just hope that when those moments come for you guys...that you have more heart and strength than I do.
Love you Chloe.
Taken July 28th while dogsitting for the week.