This year has not been an easy one for me. Personally, it’s been one of the hardest ones for me emotionally and mentally...but I’ll cover that another time. Today, is Thanksgiving and I would like to touch upon some things that I am grateful for this year.
More Time With Bindi
With my pup Bindi just turning 16 several days back, the realization is hitting home more than ever. We are on borrowed time and it’s fairly depressing. Between her struggles with Degenerative Myelopathy and now the Dementia hitting, it’s made for an extremely difficult road. She currently needs constant care...24/7 and while I’m running on empty to provide just that, I am so thankful for the extra time I am able to spend with her.
We take our nightly walks in her set of wheels for 45 minutes to over an hour and she loves every bit of it. I have been bathing her more often as with diapers, she gets a bit stinkier than before and I’ll sing to her to soothe her. I take her to work with me most days when nobody else is home to watch her and the customers dote on her...I mean...how can you not?!?
The meds she’s on now is the last hurrah. If this doesn’t seem to help her be more at peace and less anxious, I’m going to have to make the hardest decision once again and brave the world without my companion of almost 16 years by my side. It’s on my mind every second of every day which brings me very little peace currently.
So I try to find solace in the small things, like her bath today. She fell asleep in the tub and once again when I was drying her off. I just hummed to her as I had a flurry of flashbacks of adventures we partook in throughout the years enter my mind. I’m grateful to add a couple more to our journey...even if they are low key and of me caring for her in her golden years. I’m thankful for our extra time together even though I know our story will be ending shortly.
My Father
I feel like I always had a pretty good relationship with my dad. He’s been there every step of the way whenever I needed him and I always looked up to him. He was a hard worker and a good provider for the family. We went on vacation to Disney pretty much every year growing up and always had good holidays. I had a fun childhood and it’s largely in part to my pops.
Recent years have been tough on him. Watching his wife...my mom, slowly wither away mentally and physically due to one major illness followed by another, saw him transform into a loving husband and into a full time caretaker. While difficult, I know he needed to care for mom while I’ll. Now that she’s in a facility better equipped for her ever growing needs, he still visits daily and makes it a priority to try to brighten up her day.
The sudden loss of his pup Chloe a couple months back was another blow to an already “not going as planned” retirement. These things have led to several heart to hearts where my dad has opened up to me like never before. I’ll tell ya, nothing humbles you more than seeing one of your heroes completely vulnerable. But what’s inspiring and in all honesty so different from me, is how he doesn’t let these things consume him. He’s human and it affects him of course...but he finds the other bright spots life has to offer. His kids and grandkids for instance. He’s truly the best and I’m grateful for every day I get to share with him.
I know there are a million other things to be thankful for. My wonderful wife and kids, my supportive friends and family, my pets, my health...even if not great, the fact that my mom IS still here despite her ailments. But today...at this second...these are the things I wanted to just touch upon for a brief moment.
Time is limited and life is short. I’m going to try to be more like my pops in regard to finding the silver lining in things. We can never stop the tough situations flung our way throughout life, but we can learn how to triumph over them or just plain ol’ find something else to pour your heart into. I’m going to try my best to do just that.
If you are in my life in anyway, then thank you. I really do cherish each and every connection I’ve made in my life as it all impacts me to some degree while leaving an imprint on my being.
Hope you all had a wonderful day surrounded by warmth, love, while creating memories to last a lifetime.
A Very Grateful,
Blewitt