Falling apart at 39

I read Hive account@ablaze 's "bad luck comes in 3's" last week and it gave me a laugh that he was looking for another two bad things bad that were going to happen after his phone smashed. The €120 quid was market prices a well as the newer smart phones that is the going rate. I think I took too much pleasure in the story as things went from bad to worse for me this week especially in the area of health. I never had a doctor in my life because I never got sick. The only things that have ever happened to me were sports injuries that required A&E and not a GP as such so I never really had the need for a doctor.

Source

I was at a wedding last week and the heartburn was so bad that night that I couldn't sleep so I ended up heading to the doctor about that. I was pretty nervous as it was my first time going so my wife signed me up the new kid in town as all the good doctors were taken. Suited me fine, a young doctor that I can have the craic with. If he has to see the balls, he is welcome to them. No bother. I've two kids now and I am approaching 40 and well passed the ball fondling jokes from friends.
So in I go and I told him my issue and he sent me up to the hospital for a camera down the throat jobby. Now at the hospital they give you the option of putting you to sleep and stay in for 6 hours or staying awake and walking out of the hospital after the procedure. Muggings went for the latter option to his regret and had to stay awake through the ordeal of getting a camera crew down me. Well at least it wasn't up my jacksie I thought to myself while I was empty reaching holding a nurses hand like a child with a tube down my throat. So that week the doc called me back for the results and everything was fine so he decided to give me an MOT and check my bloods while I was there. So he asked me if I was alright otherwise and I said I was. I was however experiencing a pain in my side just over my pelvis so I told him off the cuff. He felt an area in particular which sent a dart of pain up me and I let out a little girly scream.
Hernia the doctor said.
What?
You have a hernia
You are going to have to get operated on before Christmas
What?!?
Yep, are you private or public?
Private

*He will probably fit you in next week so *

Surgery?? Was he for real? Jaysus. First camera crew and now a bloody operation. For a person who has never had an ailment in my life, this was quite the news.
The nurse will take your bloods on way out and I will let you know if anything dodgy comes up. Well I feel dodgy enough as it is now thanks.
OK , he prescribed me tablets for the heartburn thing so that was sorted. Now I've the hernia to look after. I rang the mother and between her and the father they had 3407 hernias done between them throughout the years so I knew it was a hereditary thing. The mother thought she was a surgeon herself the amount she bleated on about them. She talked about the hernia types, how many days they take to heal. You name it. She had the ear bent off me. I was withered by the end of it.
The next day I got the phonecall. You have a folic acid deficiency.
A what?
We will prescribe you medication to increase your levels?
Is this not what pregnant women get? No chance of that anyway which is a good thing.
So Hive account@ablaze if you are reading bad luck does come in 3's these were my 3 last week. Jesus Christ. I'l be dead in 6 months.