I grew up in a family where there are no gender roles. My daddy cooks as does my brother. They do not just cook but they also partake in house chores. For my family both Nuclear and extended, it's all about upholding the spirit of cooperation and unity. I mean if you can do it why wait for the next person?
I had this friend back then that his mother would not let near the kitchen because in her opinion it is the woman's duty. Even as far as his own laundry this boy could not do as he had his sister doing everything for him. Eventually, he left home for Uni and he could not cope. He would always complain bitterly whenever we were on the phone. He was rarely having money for anything else as he was paying people to provide him basic services of cooking and laundry. At one point, I advised him to start learning how to cook from YouTube and learn laundry by watching people do it. Washing machines were not all common and even at that it was not an appliance allowed in the school environment.
What my friend thought was a flex while growing up, escaping chores, became a problem in his later years.
The thing is, what we perceive as gender role is just division of labour for the smooth sailing of the family unit. As life progresses it's only normal for individuals to evolve. While we had an agrarian society back then as Africans with an almost zero billing system, the same cannot be said for the almost overwhelming billing system that we practice today. So while the men back then went out to hunt, till the soil and fish, by default, it became the woman's responsibility to stand guard in preserving the home and giving value to what the man brings back from the wild.
I remember when my mom visited in the past and saw my then partner sweeping the kitchen while I was doing the dishes and the meal was cooking. Not knowing my partner's mentality, my mom attempted to stop him from sweeping and asked him to go relax in the sitting room so that she could take over and assist me. He refused and questioned my mom where it was written that men should not be seen in the kitchen? He further asked my mom what type of a man would that make him if he's sitting doing nothing while we work in the kitchen. A response that shocked my mom because she thought it was rarely seen for men to be involved in the kitchen.
For me, it's not really a debate if a man should help out in the kitchen or not. It should also not be something that the men should be forced or coerced to do. Fact remains, a home that is built on love and understanding will have both genders supporting themselves and complementing each other's strength plus weaknesses.