I got a call this morning from a really close friend, she told me about the issue she had with her partner some days ago and he traveled without them resolving their issue, he got into an accident and was rushed to the hospital, before she could even have a word with him, he was declared dead before her own very eyes, according to her, she almost went crazy, the most painful part for her was the fact that they never settled their differences before he passed on, she could not even say a word to him.
What made her feel really pained was the fact that she never got the chance to reconcile with him before he passed on, she was beyond heartbroken at that time and she was making promises never to keep grudges with anyone ever again. I felt so bad too and this made me forgive someone whose behavior really hurt me, I questioned myself on how I will really feel if something happened to this person I genuinely care about.
Importance of Forgiveness.
Forgiveness helps improve your mental health.
Forgiveness helps you improve your heart condition.
Forgiveness helps you reduce the possibility of depression.
Forgiveness helps you build a better immune system.
Forgiveness helps you lower anxiety.
Forgiveness, helps you improve your relationship standard.
The process of forgiveness.
Acknowledge the pain felt and recognize the person who is responsible for the pain.
Speak to the person you are angry with and express your emotions in a very healthy way (less dramatic way).
Get rid of any expectations you have about the person.
Limit your expectations of others, and be careful about restoring friendship with that individual.
Be genuinely apologetic if you are the wrong person.
Get rid of the unhealthy attachment previously maintained with the other party's thinking habits and behavioral patterns.
Look for a new way to get each of your needs met.
Why if I find it difficult to forgive?
It is really possible for someone to hurt us so bad that it becomes highly difficult for us to forgive such an act of betrayal from the person we genuinely love, practicing these things will help you become better at forgiving.
Practice the act of empathy, and try to see the entire occurrence from the other party's view.
Reflect on the previous times you have also hurt other people and how they have forgiven you as well in the past.
Ask yourself questions about the reason why the person you are angry with would have behaved in such a manner, with the understanding you get from the situation, you may find out that, you could have behaved in a similar way if the tables were turned.
Understand that forgiveness is actually a process, it is not your fault that you keep remembering the hurt done to you over and over, it may take time for you to completely get over it.
I am of the opinion that the fact that you forgive someone does not mean the both of you have to be on close terms again, especially if the person has failed to admit his or her wrongs genuinely or the behavior of that person could hurt you either in a short while or in the long run.