So. I might take off a little early so I'm going to own my lie before @galenkp is up for work.

#2 is the lie. I shoveled my share of horse shit, chicken shit, cow shit and pig shit, but it wasn't thousands of tons, it was normal farm kid shoveling. I was skinny and whip strong but it was from moving water pipes. I wasn't a particularly good pitcher and didn't throw a pitch in a game until I was a junior in a blow out game....

That joke was pretty common when I was in High School, BTW :) Congratulations Victor!