Profane and Profound. At Least Profane.
Yeah, it's clickbait. Get over it. The truth of the matter is I wouldn't call it chemically induced, it's more like chemically reduced or maybe chemically deduced.
You see, I smoked my last cigar on Christmas morning, No big hearts and Santa Claus Christmas story, it was just the day I ran out of cigars. Intentionally. I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to quit, but I'm damn sure certain not throwing anything good out, I just smoked my normal amount until they were gone. Christmas morning.
What in the Fuck was I thinking? I've quit smoking a number of times before so I know what is coming. I've even quit successfully a couple of times. You have to be stupid to quit smoking.
I do have to admit I did a lot of things right before I quit inhaling that nirvana smoke. I had myself supplied for many days and could just stay home for at least a week. I have thought of 100 good reasons, I mean really sound reasons to start again. I haven't figured out the one good reason I need to leave the house. So I'm four days and counting into the craziness.
No. It has not gotten one fucking bit easier yet. I still basically want a smoke 24-7.
I have some anger issues that I feel I can seriously articulate in my current smoke deprived state. Read them and fucking weep.
Can you see what's wrong with these pants?
No fucking pockets. I submit to you all and to the universe that pants need pockets or else they are something other than pants.
I'm wearing a pair of sweat pants right now that have no pockets. It's all due to shitty labeling by the manufacturer. NOBODY would knowingly buy a pair of not pants without pockets. Bastards. The MAN has stuck it to me again! You simply can not survive without pockets.
Imagine this beautiful jar full of mayonnaise. Now imagine that you are trying to get mayonnaise out of the bottom third of this beautiful jar. Yeah, that's right. It's a horrible fucking mess, every single time. EVERY TIME. Why not just make the mouth be the same size as the diameter of the jar so you can just reach right in to the very bottom? Every fucking manufacturer does this, it's not just one sticking it to the proletariat, it's all. RISE UP.
Speaking of jars, today is laundry day at my house. Among other things it is my very last day to be able to smell smoke on my clothing from my beloved cigars. Now the last of that era is in the washing machine.
Which brings me to the Tide Pods jar. I'm in the bottom half of a pretty expensive source of laundry detergent (that I really seriously like) and I CAN'T STICK MY HANDS INTO THE JAR TO GET THE PODS OUT. How hard can it be to make stuff like this accessible to everybody and not just the skinny wristed girls? I mean really.
I hope you all understand that while I am just crazier than a shit house rat out of my 'end of smoking' effort, most of this is exaggerated and all out of proportion. Give me a few months and I'm sure I'll return to normal.
Thanks for reading this all the way to the end. Anything can happen and often does.
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