I’ll never forget that morning. I woke up feeling unstoppable ,you know that rare, magical feeling when you actually wake up before your alarm and think, "Today, I’m going to crush it."
I ironed my favorite black pants, the ones that make me feel like a million bucks. I paired them with a white shirt that I only wear on “important” days. I even put on a splash of cologne the one I save for weddings and job interviews,I felt good.
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I stepped out of the house feeling like I was on the cover of Gucci magazine. I strutted to the bus stop, headphones in, blasting my motivational playlist from frank Ikemefune. I even gave the bus driver a confident nod, as if to say, “Yes, today’s my day reckoning.”
Then it happened. I felt it.
A soft breeze… where no breeze should be.
I looked down slowly like in those horror movies when the character knows they shouldn’t look, but they do anyway. And there it was my zipper wide open, smiling at the entire world like it had been waiting for this moment its whole life.
My heart dropped straight to my shoes. I swear I heard tiny violins playing in the background.
I tried to zip up discreetly, but of course, the bus hit a bump at that exact moment. I almost fell into the lap of the old woman sitting next to me, who gave me a look like I had just committed a federal crime,at this point I felt like the he rapture should happen already so I'd just disappear,but no it didn't.
By the time I got off the bus, I had developed a strategy, hold my laptop bag in front like a protective shield, shuffle walk like a penguin, avoid all eye contact. But somehow, the universe wasn’t done humiliating me yet.
As I walked into the office building, the security guy , the one who never notices anything suddenly decided to become Sherlock Holmes. He looked straight at me and said, “Hey boss! You okay? You look… uncomfortable.”
I gave him a thumbs up and a forced smile that probably looked like I was passing a kidney stone.
All day, I had to hold my bag or papers in front of me like I was hiding a top-secret government document. Every time someone called my name, I’d turn my entire body instead of just my head, so I wouldn’t expose the grand opening.
I made it to the end of the day without any further scandal, but by the time I got home, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I zipped up that traitorous zipper and glared at my pants like they had personally ruined my career.
That night, I tossed them into a dark corner of my closet and whispered, “We’re on a break.”
I Sha noted something down,Always double check your zipper before you leave home. Because nothing ruins your “main character energy” faster than an unexpected draft down south.
