Sometimes I don't give me enough credit for the things I have achieved.
Maybe this has to do with my return to my hometown. In 3 different times of my life has this happened. First, when I failed as a student of Physics. This was the heaviest. I was so used to being good at school that the fact of not scoring good grades made me question everything I knew so far. However, I knew I didn't like Math. This was an attempt to dissuade my mother from those thoughts of having engineer sons. My brother didn't make it either. But he has job and he lives abroad.
The second time was when I landed a shitty job at a call center in Puerto La Cruz. I went to live with my uncle and his family for some time. This didn't end well. But it has to do with his wife and how you get to be a problem in someone else's house even when you don't spend much time there and keep working and working. This time I came back not only because of this problem, which still lingers in the family. But my wisdom teeth had to be removed. So, I guess it wasn't that bad. I quit the job and spend a lot of time recovering. To this date, I still can't feel part of my tongue. Around this time I picked up the idea of making cuatros. It helped that I already knew a person who had a workshop and didn't mind teaching me the business. I also got a VA job and was doing ok. But then I was living at my grandparents and that house, though it is something I remember fondly most of the time, is a mess. There's no running water inside. So I had to load buckets of water to do a lot of stuff. That isn't good for the back.
The third time has to do with the time I got a teaching job trial south. I went to Puerto Ordaz after someone insisted a lot about this job. This was a mistake. I had had planned to start with the workshop and keep the VA gig as a means to buy tools and materials. But I needed to try teaching one more time to see if it would stick. So, why not. Away I went teaching and I wasn't bad at it, but the whole deal of education as a service sucks. Basically, you have to put aside what you have learn and your vision about what teaching is because sellers tell you what it should be. This idea may work for people who are not teachers or do not know anything better, but I the end if you think teaching ca be more, this is not the way. Thus, once again, I found myself back in my parents' house.
However, during the time in quarantine. I have done quite a bit of growing. I spent half of this year away. I got the chance to learn how good of a cook I am. Added to this that now I can edit videos, play my instruments better, use some software I had no idea how to operate and also started to notice what to do when I get anxious. I cannot say these "failures" haven't been the stones I need to bump into in order to get myself together and start doing more and follow a different path.
Nowadays, I spent a lot of time working on a cuatro with almost no tools. That is exhausting and gives me no room to spend much time around here. But once I get the gist of the deal, I would be able to used my energy better.
You might be asking what does that origami thing has to do with all of this. It is simple. Life folds itself in a way, but that doesn't mean you can undo the folds and shape anew. The old seams will remain. That's what you have experience in any particular shape to that moment. When you change it, you will get new ones. More experience. And on and on until you end up in the shape you find more comfortable.
I think the world would benefit of each people being a less harsh on themselves. Even a little can make a difference. Maybe that way we could be kinder to others. I don't know if it would work like that. But I like to believe it would.
If you're interested in the origami butterfly, I made it following these instructions.
https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/easy-origami-butterfly-tutorial-2540970