A man with a heavy heart doesn't find it easy on himself and may likely not go far in life than where he is today. After we might have been hurt by that friend we trusted and relied on so much,the next challenge we are faced with is deciding whether to forgive,forget,or just move on.
A lot of people have misconceptions about forgiveness:
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person's actions.
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more feelings about the situation.
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
ā¢Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.
ā¢... and forgiveness isn't something you do for the other person.
By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what went wrong and also find a way to live with it in a state of resolution without being malicious.
Its very hard if not impossible to forget things that hurts us,the memory is only there to serve as a reminder and a preventive measure against future occurrence.
It is mandatory that when we finally find a spot in our heart where forgiveness resides, we have to move on and not allow the incident weigh us down or out shadow our sence of reasoning.
These are a few ways you can forgive:
ā¢Think about the incident that got you ravenous. Accept that it unavoidably happened.Accept how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected.
ā¢ Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.
ā¢ Now think about the other person. He or she is flawed because all human beings are flawed. He or she acted from limited beliefs and a skewed frame of reference because sometimes we all act from our limited beliefs and skewed frames of reference. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?
ā¢ Finally, decide whether or not you want to
tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her. If you decide not to express forgiveness directly, then do it on your own. Say the words, "I forgive you," aloud and then add as much explanation as you feel its merited. And always remember that forgiveness is what you do for yourself.
May we be granted a forgiving heart and to always find a thousand reasons to forgive whenever we are hurt.. Stay blessed and let others see the concept of forgiveness in you.
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