I was lucky to transition from the hardcore phase into a calmer one, but it took a while and I'm still paying for it. And whenever there is an emergency, I'm there anyway. Strikes, outages, everything that needs organization and someone experienced in all three cultures that reside here, being able to connect the people. Like you said, it's a rush, it feels good to be useful.

I took a note on my notebook the other day. About the crave to have purpose, and how hard it is when it gets lost somehow. My daughter is a big part of my purpose, so what now? Besides running to the courthouse. There are other available, but what if she comes back? So I'm in a limbo.

From what I read in your posts you keep yourself occupied with pretty cool projects. It's cool to know how to work on a truck. Or set up antenna and radio stations. And thanks for writing about all that!