Although I am one of those with the opinion that Politics is a dirty and bloody game in my country, this does not mean that if I have an opportunity to occupy a political seat, that I will reject it. Who rejects sugar when it is put in their mouths?
If I were to be declared as the president of Nigeria even for a day, I won't reject it. I'll also play the dirty game too, lol. But sincerely, What ridiculous or funny changes and laws would I make? Take a ride with me to find out.
After being appointed as the number one person in my country, I would seek to implement these laws and make them binding for at least a hundred years before they can be revised.
#1. Monday is no longer a day of the week.
I will cancel Mondays from being a day of the week and extend Sundays to 48 hours. Let the new week begin from Tuesday. My citizens need to rest well and this will not affect their employment or pay. Any organization that refused to comply will pay a fine of five million naira to my account.
#2. Single ladies empowerment
Every single lady that is unmarried will get a monthly salary of fifty thousand naira. I understand that there is no boo to pay their bills, so l will step up and be their boo till they find a boo.
Additionally, any lady who was dumped by a guy, will be paid by the guy in millions according to the number of years spent together. If a guy dates a girl for seven years and then dumps her, he will pay her seven million naira as break up fee. This will teach guys not to chase anything in a skirt anyhow.
#3. Teachers will be the highest paid workers.
No joke about this. I will instruct my finance officer to pay every teacher the sum of one million naira monthly. I would also build an estate to be occupied only by teachers where they can live for free until they grow old. If not for teachers, how would I know the book and become president?
#4. Any guy who smiles at a girl for no reason will serve jail term
It has come to my notice that some guys now try to force girl's attention. If any guy is caught smiling at a girl anyhow, that guy will be arrested and detained for seven long days without food only water or he pays the girl a fine of two million naira to which ten percent will come to my purse.
#4. Official food.
I will declare garri, groundnut and sugar as Nigeria's official food which must be eaten in every home at least once a day. This way both the rich and the poor will be equal and no one will hurt the others feelings.
Even at events and ceremonies garri will be served with its companions in the likes of fried fish, roasted coconut or cashew nuts. Anyone who fails to comply will be put to compulsory farm work in a cassava plantation.
Rice has bullied my citizens too much with its high price, hence it is time to relegate rice to the back seat.
#5. Change to the national coat of arms.
I have always wondered why an eagle sits at the top of the national coat of arms emblem when we don't even have eagles in Nigeria. To rectify that mess, I would opt for a red feathered chicken to be on top of the coat of arms. We must be proud of what we have in our country. We don't have eagles, so why use it, lol.
Lastly, I will borrow the sum of three hundred trillion dollars from China and Elon Musk with a repayment period of twelve months. If the government cannot pay up, then the country will be divided between China and Musk. So start learning Chinese as a compulsory language, hehe.
**I hope you all will vote for me when the time comes 馃榿.
Thanks for reading.
Image source: Meta Ai
