What makes me...me?

Confession: I'm not sure who I am most of the time; a person certainly, but what is the sum and total of me? I was prompted to do an introduction post and whilst I feel a little self-conscious talking about me, I decided to do one...You are reading it right now.

What makes me, me?

Is it how I look? Sometimes I look at me and actually like what I see. Curves where they are supposed to be, bumps too, face, hair, a body and all of that stuff that encompass the visual me. But are those curves and bumps really me?

Maybe it's my intellect. Excuse my use of the word intellect please, I am certainly not an intellectual by any stretch of the imagination. However, I have cognitive thought, can reason through problems, right and wrong, good and bad and even managed to learn how to count to ten, twenty with the use of my fingers and (cute) toes. I manage to get through life reasonably well, even despite the rocky paths I've had to traverse, the speed bumps and hurdles that impeded my journey. I'm me because of those things and have learned a lot along the way so I feel vindicated to use the word intellect.

Maybe it's my slightly cheeky nature, my humorous side? I'll be honest and say that I giggle more at that aspect of me than others but someone has to laugh yes? I like to smile, and think I have a good one, kind of cute; it's far better than my frown, although sometimes when I smile the corner of my eyes crinkle and I think I look weird. Maybe that just means its genuine?

Could it be the way I love? I am passionate about life and love. The smell of freshly cut grass, walking in the rain, that moment my lips close around a cupcake. I love coffee and the way hot bathwater makes my skin red all over, the way I feel soft after soaking in the tub, a glass of wine and a book my company. I love that only a very few people have ever felt my love, but I love interacting with people too. Cats = Love. (Enough said there.) I love myself; you know what I mean yes? I feel content with myself: My company, my looks, my faults and failings.

Maybe it's my spirit or soul. What I am begins inside of me where the eyes can't reach, not even my own. It's dark in there but light at the same time, colourful. I'm going to say a kaleidoscope of colour with a shadow or two here and there. Maybe I'm a good soul, but what is good? I'm not bad though, not intrinsically anyway.

Like...who?

I don't know what makes me the person who sits hunched over my phone typing this. I don't think I will ever know who I am completely. I try to be a better person whenever I can, and understand when and why I have failed to be that; it seems a valid way to live. I also try to be a person who loves a lot, and combine my cheeky and passionate sides with that plus throw in a little pinch of intellect. It seems to be a recipe that creates the me who lives and loves. I'm a jumbled collection I suppose.

I'm not sure if this constitutes much of an introduction post however with my limited writing ability it's all I have. Being new here feels like the first day of school but a few have reached out and that has made me feel a little more welcome. Thank you to @joanstewart for prompting me to do this post, I enjoyed doing so.

Will I see you around sometime? Neither of us can answer that however maybe our paths will cross and we will stop long enough to spend some of our lives together.

Becca 💗