This is going to be a really short post because I am exhausted from driving three hours up and then three hours back to drop dogs off at the animal shelter in the city and to pick up a couple dogs as well to take back t my mom’s animal shelter, but I wanted to make a goal to at least post once per day. This poem was meant to be the start of a three minute slam poem and is supposed to be read out loud to be heard by others. I think after I read it out loud, it was only one and a half minutes long. So while you’re reading them, imagine you’re in a bohemian setting, maybe a coffee shop or maybe a local bar. Picture yourself sitting there having your drink, watching me and listening to me bare my soul on stage:
Silence… memories… best friends who wrap around each other in comfort and in sorrow… who enable the other to exist without pause… my silence is not silent at all, but is filled with loud memories screaming into my head dying to be let out and heard… longing to be comforted by something other than each other… longing for understanding, empathy, and acceptance… longing for the loneliness to leave… when I try to empty my mind of the loudness of silence and memories, it is to no avail… more seep in and creep in and fill my every aching pore… it’s hard to know where to start… it’s hard to know what to say… where do I begin? I have so much to say, so much to share… I tell myself it is to help others not to feel so alone, but really it is a selfish act… It is my way of emptying myself, so that I can feel once more… to feel joy and happiness… to feel the warm hug of laughter… instead I have become this empty shell… going through the motions… living life as a lie… as someone who doesn’t know who they are… running in circles… chasing my tail… barking loudly, begging to be heard...Won’t someone please hear me? Silence… memories… instead, I bury them deep down inside my soul… where no one can hear my deepest and darkest thoughts… There they lie, festering and rotting… Corrupting my very essence… but I put on a smile and act as if everything is okay… I will tell you I’m fine. I will tell you I’m great. But secretly, I’m dying, slowly, painfully, and alone…
