Published via Ecency

As a young woman who is preparing for marriage and already thinking about the kind of mother I want to become, this question hits home in a very personal way. I’ve heard both sides of the conversation those who say, “My children will never go through what I went through,” and those who believe, “They must face some level of hardship to understand life.” Honestly, I find myself somewhere in the middle, but with a firm foot on wisdom and balance.

Growing up, life wasn’t a smooth ride for me. I’ve seen struggles, the kind that matured me faster than my age. I’ve worn shoes that were too tight and walked paths that were full of stones. There were moments I wished someone would step in and make things easier. But now, looking back, I realize those very experiences shaped my resilience. They built my character. Still, I strongly believe that hardship should never be the first teacher when love, support, and guidance can do a better job.

If God blesses me with children one day, I want to give them a better version of life than I had. Not necessarily a soft life, but a life where they don’t have to beg for attention, where they don’t have to break before they understand the value of strength. I want them to learn lessons, yes! but not from pain alone.

I will not raise my children to be blind to the realities of life. They will know that money doesn’t fall from the sky, that not everyone will clap for them, and that sometimes, even when you try your best, life may still say no. But they will also know that they have a mother who will be their biggest cheerleader, their safe space, and their moral compass.

My approach to parenting will be intentional. I want to raise children who are emotionally intelligent, respectful, hardworking, and grounded in faith. I’ll teach them that self-worth doesn’t come from material things but from who they are inside. If they want something, they’ll have to work for it. But I’ll never sit back and watch them suffer just because I did. That’s not parenting. That’s punishment.

I’ll expose them to real life experiences, maybe let them run a small business during holidays, or take up volunteer work, or even live without gadgets for a while, just to show them that the world is bigger than comfort. They will understand responsibility, but they won’t be traumatized by it.

At the end of the day, I want my future children to say, “Mummy didn’t give us everything, but she gave us the right things.” That’s what I’m working towards. That’s the kind of mother I want to become.

So, to answer the question: No, I won’t let my kids suffer the way I did. But yes, I will prepare them for a world that won’t always be kind. I believe in grace and grit and that’s exactly what I’ll pass on to them.

Image is Ai generated