Life has a way of teaching us lessons we never asked for, sometimes it gives us people whose love feels eternal, then reminds us that time on earth isn't.
This makes it over 15 years since I lost my two favourite uncles.
Some days, I find myself walking through memory lane, with reminders of how they carried us with so much care, the laughter they filled our home with, the gifts they never forgot to buy, especially chin chin, the meals they proudly prepared, and the dreams they had for us. They always said they would send us abroad to study whatever course our hearts desired.
Those memories feel so alive that, for a moment, I don't want to return to reality. Because in that place, they're still here.
I was only eight years old when they died, I mean, i spent just eight years with them, yet they gave me enough love to last a lifetime. The painful part is that I witnessed their deaths with my own eyes.
Death, why art thou sting so deep when you take the people who felt like home?
My father refused to let me attend their burial, he believed that if I did, I would have wanted to be buried alongside them just to stay close.
For years, I convinced myself I had healed.
I hadn't
Last month was actually the month they died and were buried, with much pressure from me to my father to take me to their graves, he had to take me there. When we arrived, the place was covered in dirt, abandoned and neglected
My uncles loved cleanliness as I could hear them complaining about the untidy surroundings, urging me to clean it
So I cleaned it, i made it beautiful again.
I bought a bouquet of flowers and they were my uncles favourite fragrance set of flowers. Then I sat beside them and talked.
Gisting them everything they had missed, how life has been with us since they left, the victories we've had, the struggles we encountered, the dreams I'm still chasing, and how I've learnt to keep moving even with the hole their absence left behind.
I got home very late that day, but everything was worth it
most of us have lost someone we loved deeply, you know that grief doesn't disappear. It simply changes its shape.
We don't move on from those we love, we learn to move forward while carrying their love with us.
Grief taught me so many lessons, but here's what stood out for me;
•Love doesn't end at the end of a heartbeat, rather it still lives through the memories and their value
•To heal is not to forget, healing is being able to remember without running away. It's allowing yourself to cry, smile, laugh, and still honour them without guilt.
•The greatest tribute to those we've lost is to live the life they prayed for us to have. Chasing dreams, loving deeply, helping others, and becoming the person they would be proud to see.
That's how we keep them alive.
