”Should one be shallow enough to view existence as a system of rewards and punishments, one soon learns that we pay as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats.” - Tom Robbins
There’s been much debate over the efficacy and appropriateness of punishment and rewards in all areas of life: parenting, business, government, etc. Punishment motivates a person to action through fear, while reward motivates through desire. In recent times, the former has been deemed a negative motivation, while the latter has been heralded as a positive alternative. In reality, both methods are rooted in the same dynamic – coercion by external motivation. Let’s take a brief look at both and see where the healthiest and most effective impetus to action resides…
Historically, punishment has been deemed the best way to elicit desired behavior from people. The phrase ”Spare the rod, spoil the child” comes from the Bible (Proverbs 13:24) and implies that punishment is the responsible course of action, and even an act of love. The verse specifically states that ”Whoever spares the rod hates their children…” (New International Version). Surely, no parent wants to be guilty of this unholy crime, so Billy, fetch me a switch and we’ll lovingly show you how only a bad boy takes cookies without asking!
In the realm of parenting, this is generally frowned upon in modern times (at least publicly), though we still accept this as appropriate for adults. Every governmental system is firmly rooted in the practice of punishment – government is simply not government without it. Law enforcers take on the role of whip-cracker for politicians, whose dictates every citizen must acknowledge and obey, lest they be punished with financial or physical violence. Of course, even the financial punishment is backed up by physical violence, should the non-compliant individual choose to act by their own volition, and not conform to the will of lawmakers. Punishment reigns supreme in the world of law.
However, does this instill the desired social values in people? Certainly not. We know from personal experience that such motivation only serves to make us angry or afraid, and inspires us to action by way of avoiding the punishment, rather than by seeing the purported wisdom of the dictate itself. The spirit of the demand becomes irrelevant. In the case of law, this applies both to citizens and enforcers.
Citizens will stop at a red light even if there isn’t another car in sight; not because they deem it necessary, but for fear there may be an enforcer lurking around the next corner. Similarly, police often don’t care whether the intent of the law applies to the given situation, they reserve the “right” to rob you anyway (they call this robbery a “citation”), without exercising any discernment of their own. After all, ”I’m just doing my job, Ma’am – I don’t make the law, I just enforce it.”
So punishment is a form of external control that indirectly leverages fear to elicit the desired action. It does not directly correspond to our goals, or instill an appreciation for the inherent merit of the action itself.
”Clean your room and you can have a treat.” Wait… I didn’t know dogs could clean rooms… Oh, that comment was directed at a human being – my mistake.
In modern times, reward is the new punishment. A “good” parent doesn’t beat their child into submission, but instead lures them with the promise of food, toys, or even praise and attention. ”If you finish your homework, we’ll play a game together” It sounds innocent enough, but what’s the psychological effect? Is the child doing the homework because they're inspired by a sincere love of learning? Of course not. They’re trying to finish it as fast as possible to get that deeply-desired focused attention from Mom or Dad.
What message does this send about learning? That learning itself is of no inherent value; in fact, learning must suck, since a reward must be promised to make it desirable – “Even my parents can see that; they don't reward me for doing cool stuff.” A child may not be able to put this into words so clearly, but this is the message that’s being sent. Learning, sharing, kindness, chores – all are equally inane and without inherent value; it’s only the subsequent praise, candy, or money that make them worthwhile.
This, of course, carries on into adulthood (as does all childhood training). In fact, it’s a critical element of the cultural indoctrination that prepares us for docile acceptance of unfulfilling employment. The overwhelming majority of people spend nearly all their time slaving away at jobs they would never spend a moment doing if left to their own devices. They're doing it merely for the paycheck. We’ve accepted this as normal, but in reality, it’s the primary cause of the quiet desperation that pervades our society (but don't worry, we've got a drug for that; and what's more - your insurance will pay for it!)
Let’s say you want a new coat – how do you go about getting it? Nowadays, there’s likely no cutting and stitching involved in this process. Instead, we go to work and file papers, respond to emails, or answer telephones. So our motivation to answer telephones is to get a new coat – but there’s a perilous disconnect between the activity and the goal that leaves the person wanting on a deep psychological level. The activity of answering phones isn’t linked to the coat in a direct way. Our conscious mind can make the abstract connection, but the core of our being is unsatisfied because this work is unrelated to our true desires.
Compare this to a farmer growing his own food. The farmer’s desire directly corresponds to his work. His core desire for sustenance is intrinsically related to his daily efforts toward a bountiful harvest. This is satisfying work, understood on every level of his being. Perhaps an even more relevant example for many of us would be our hobbies…
I enjoy playing fantasy adventure board games. I want the miniature heroes and monsters for my games to look realistic, but they come out of the box looking like a grey blob of plastic. So, I’ve taken to painting them. It's no small effort, as there can be as many as 40 such figures in a single game; all with tiny details requiring much time and focused attention. Painting tiny objects isn’t something I would generally do, but I want my figures to capture my imagination, so I do it.
I've never found this work to be a chore, however. In fact, I’ve come to enjoy it because it's a challenge, and after every step I can see them moving closer toward the image I envisioned. I’m very satisfied when I notice my skills improving, or when I look upon a completed figure. Completing a whole game’s worth of figures is something I’m proud of every time I think of it, and the painted characters greatly increase my enjoyment of the game. My work is directly related to my desire, and it feels great.
Sometimes people will see my figures and say, ”Hey, these look fantastic! You could make money doing this!” This is actually a very viable opportunity – such games could be sold for 3-4 times their value with the miniatures painted. I’ve never done it, though. Why not? Because I know that every brush stroke will be a burden if I was only doing it for a financial reward. The very same action is rendered completely uninspired under those conditions.
Rewards are a form of external control that leverages needs and wants to indirectly elicit the desired action. They do not directly correspond to our goals, or instill an appreciation for the inherent merit of the action itself.
Like so many things in our culture, reward and punishment is a quick-fix, short-term, crippled non-solution to our problems. Recognizing these as unsatisfying and inevitably ineffective strategies, where does this leave us? We have to accept that there are no band-aid solutions; not at home, at work, or in the larger society.
We have to take the time to instill proper values in our children. We have to engage in the tedious, difficult work of long-term education, whereby the child can see the “why” behind the action. Why should they clean their room? Why should they not hit their sister? Our failure to acknowledge core principles in every area of life has likely left us with little time for such work, as we’ve fallen into the cultural mindset of spending our lives earning money in a misguided attempt to fulfill our needs and desires, so this level of engagement with our children can be quite difficult. Unfortunately, there’s no way around it. If we really want to set them up for true success (a fulfilling and satisfying life experience), we must take the time to do this work.
In our employment, we may find ourselves trapped answering those telephones. If we ever hope to be satisfied, we’re going to have to find a way out. We’ve got to move into work that truly inspires us, even if it means downgrading our lifestyle. Unfortunately, we live a world with mixed-up values, and we may not be duly compensated for our labor of love. This is the cross we must bear living in these times. We all know the stereotype of the discontented old miser, and we know that money alone doesn’t buy happiness. We’ll be way better off loving our work than having more money in the bank. After all, what were we truly seeking when we took that higher-paying job? We were seeking happiness – a better emotional state. So why not take the true path toward that goal, instead of enduring the nauseating twists and turns of the backwoods shortcut? At the very least, we'll no longer have to deal with Janice in accounting.
As for the larger society, well… that may take a little longer. Does supporting an institution of violent coercion really coincide with your core values? Does it actually work to instill desirable values in people? Morality is the only solution that actually solves; and just as in other areas, it requires hard work. We want organization, security, and for people to treat others justly. It’s much easier to just throw them in a cage when they don't conform, instead of slowly building a society that values true moral principles via education and our example. But that temporary satisfaction leads to disastrous broad-scale consequences.
This world is in a condition of de facto slavery, whether you realize it or not. We must financially support politicians' concept of society under threat of violence by way of taxation. We must file papers with the masters for “permission” to do any number of ordinary things wholly within our natural law rights. We are denied our inherent right to decide what substances we will introduce into our bodies – our very mind is claimed as their property, such that they may decide what states of consciousness we are “permitted” to experience. We are answerable to them and their enforcers on every level, then are told that they are our "servants", when nothing could be further from our direct experience.
The only path toward internal and external satisfaction for ourselves and others is to commit to the truth of our needs and desires, and the necessity of fulfilling them in a moral and effective way. We must create a direct connection between our objects and our actions, for ourselves, our children, and the broader society. This is inherently impossible by way of punishment and reward, as both are artificial, external motivations. As is always the case, the true solution lies within; and when we acknowledge this, and work toward authentic solutions, all will be healed and made whole.
Thanks for checking in!
Brian Blackwell
Relevant articles supporting a deeper understanding of the ideas presented above may be found here:
