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Not much is changing. We talk, we email, we have phone sex for a few years. During that time my husband deploys to Iraq for the first time. I am a wreck, as I was terrified that something would happen to him. What would I tell my daughter? Not only that, though I knew Tom doesn't love me, I still loved him. He was my best friend and the father of my daughter. While on his deployment his tour gets extended to 15 months. I am on a verge of a nervous breakdown every day. I volunteered as the Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader to be able to help all the other wife's and their children dealing with this horrific time. Most of them were American women stranded in Germany, living in military housing on post. They didn't speak any German, nor did they understand their utility bills, some didn't even have a driver's license, yet a couple of kids to take care of by themselves.
Being the FRG leader I get all the daily news of soldiers we've lost that day and how many got hurt. I don't want to go too much into any of that, yet better reserved for another story.
I don't know what I would have done without talking to Mark. He had deployed previously too and so he always found a way to calm me down. He is one of the most positive minded people I have met. One of the many reasons why I love him.
The tour is over and Tom is home for two weeks straight. This is the second time we get to spend time together in 15 months. He had come home for a two week vacation after the first 12 months. He was definitely a mess. He drank half a bottle of vodka a night and took psychiatric pills prescribed to him. Before his deployment he got prescribed those pills because of his anger problems towards me. He didn't hit me ever, yet mentally abused me daily. Before he left the pills seemed to help a lot and we actually, for the very first time, had a great time with each other. Yet, once back home after the horrors of war, those pills weren't working anymore and mixed with the alcohol they weren't making anything better. We have sex a few times but when he fell asleep on top of me for the second time, his cock still inside me, I couldn't handle it and break down crying, while trying to move away from underneath him. I get to free myself and all I can think of is to call Mark. So I did and was able to pull myself together again and continue on this uncertain path. I grow farther and farther away from Tom and it doesn't help that after his two week vacation he is getting send to Georgia for training, as he got promoted downrange. He leaves for another 3 months and tells me that he had signed up to stay in the Army for an indefinite time. I was shocked. I was hoping to never have to deal with another deployment again, but the next one was only 12 months away. Once he returns from school his company is getting moved to Grafenwöhr and so we pack our stuff and move to an even smaller city named Amberg. No time to get closer together, as he goes off to trainings for his next tour.
One night, as we lay in bed next to each other, he tells me that he has been thinking about his Highschool sweetheart, who had broken his heart shortly before he met me. They'd stayed in touch all these years. Wishing each other happy birthday, merry Christmas and the like. I always knew that he still loved her. So I tell him to reach out to her. "Why don't you give her a call?", I say. He doesn't want to, he says he is fine. I told him, I'd rather have him talk to her and find out if the two still have feelings for each other, after all I just waited 18 months for him, and the last thing I wanted was to wake up next to someone who wants to be with someone else.
Continue Part 8
