Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9
I am a total mess at this point. Never having felt loved by him in the first place and now having the knowledge that I was right all along, made me feel like a complete looser, failure, stupid piece of shit, who is not worthy of being loved. I lose a ton of weight as I can't eat, sleep nor think straight.
Tom and I email and talk on the phone a few times. He seems very distant again, and I am getting this weird gut feeling once more. I check the history of his laptop and there is a new gmail account. I don't know why I didn't do that sooner. Again, I am in shock. He said he would stop talking to her but instead just opened a new email account. I realize I have to figure out how to talk to her. I do some research online and find her phone number. So I give her a call. She answers and supposedly gladly talks to me. She lets me know that they have been talking still and that they kept on telling each other how much they love each other. She follows up with an email writing me that she decided to let him go and promised to never talk to him again. She apologizes for hurting me and I guess in her mind everything was just magically going to be okay. Oh and she mentioned that under different circumstances we'd probably be friends. It couldn't get any crazier than that.
I told Tom that I had talked to her and that I definitely had enough and that we are going to separate. After being hurt and cheated on like this, I am now turning into a spy. He is on his way home for his two week R&R vacation. I did not want him to come home, nor see him at all, but my daughter couldn't wait to spend time with him again. While he was on his way home, I log onto his Facebook account and can see in real time a conversation he is having with a young female soldier, who was also deployed with him. He complained to her that he had to come home to his stupid wife and that he wouldn't be able to talk to her while he was home on vacation. Her response was, "Just tell her to shut the fuck up or kill her.". I couldn't believe my eyes and he did not even bother to respond to her about that comment she had just made about me. At this point I am seriously realizing that I am married to the devil himself. Yes, we talked about being separated at this time, but I couldn't understand why he'd talk about me in such a way and why this girl suggested for him to kill me.
Our daughter was so excited to have her daddy back in her arms and I couldn't have been more upset for him to be there. We try to be civil and nice so our daughter could have a good time with him. As soon as I get a chance I ask him about the conversation he had with this young female soldier. I ask why he let's anyone talk about me like that to him. He now goes online and sends her a private message and scolds her for the way she'd talked about me. Of course I knew he didn't mean it. Every day just seemed to get worse and worse.
Then all of the sudden there it was, a light at the end of the tunnel. Mark emails me and asks me if he is able to come to Praque, if I would come meet him there. Praque is only a two hour train ride away from my house and so I say yes. After 8 long years of not being able to see each other, finally a chance to hold him in my arms again.
Continue Part 11
