I am seating in the pew among brethren hearing of a God who loves me. Am I expected to just accept what is being said because a respected figure is saying it? Being coerced to shout 'amen' as though that determines my breakthrough and blessings. Shouting 'hallelujah' for through that I will be delivered.Sunday after sunday, night tarry upon night tarry, prayers to pull down strongholds of family demons and curses are made. Yet God never seems to answer, energy expended with no results. Even this so called 'warfare prayers'. You will agree with me that this is the right time to run from this emptiness for life is being sapped out of me.
I arise from the pew and make my way through the door away from the crowd. I find peace among the flowers as the breeze brushes my face with it's cold palms. I look into the great Book and I see stories of men who neither shouted hallelujah or amen at the top of their lungs but touched lives and possessed power that could be felt without them bragging about it.I see men who asked questions and got answers from God and then I yearn:who is this God(I long to know Him) and how do I experience Him personally? Not just what I am told by preachers. But I search for Him a little time and give up concluding that He is not there afterall; it's another myth, a farce.
But then, light so beautiful, beyond description dawns on me. Only then did I see God's unambiguous way of finding Him: You shall seek me and find me, when you shall search for me with all your heart. Marvelled, I put my heart to it. Oh, what joy! But my pain is that I have not cultivated the patience and diligence in seeking Him. How wretched I feel. I try again but fail. Who will help me reach Him for my heart is drifting and I may not return to the pew to listen to this preacher? The messages don't bring life but dearth to my soul. I am looking for life; I need a personal encounter with Him. Anyone there! Hello!! Anyone who can lead me to life?
As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after You...
