When your date blinks so much you start to wonder if she is morsing someone for help...

It would be nice if the missus told you that the little one had an upset tummy before passing him over for a nappy change and running away...

When your birthday celebrations start with a trip to the park with the kids instead of hookers and blow...

That truly awful moment when you look over and realise you actually did marry a bitch...

There's no getting away from it, that is one shit lightsabre...

That bittersweet moment when you win A Night Of The Pork Swords and realise what it actually means...

Although at first he had his doubts about this reach-around thing, after a quick demonstration he was sold...

Mark Hamil realised that without the beard he just looked stupid when he tried it on with the chicks...

After only six beers I was starting to think she was looking kinda sassy...

Good grief, is she just being out and out racist!?!

What did? Your vagina? Good grief woman, you want to get some control over that thing...

At the party, he realised too late that bukakke wasn't a nice biscuit to have with his tea...

If only all prison bars were so easily bent...

The daily ordeal of checking the crypto portfolio just doesn't get easier...

When she wears this on your first date and you get the impression that it might not end up in happy sacky fun...

Nicki Minaj's dance routines get racier and racier...

I don't know what it is... You are so beautiful and I feel we have such a magical connection...

That look the chicks give me when I ask if they want to see my blog...

That awkward moment when your weird Uncle appears to be coming on to you via the medium of mime...

Vince is racked with indecision when visiting his favourite man brothel...