If you are anything like me, small talk doesn't really interest you. Just the fact that some people actually go on and talk for hours about things that don't really matter and are completely pointless seems like a total waste of time and energy.
They are boring, time-consuming, and they can get straight up awkward at times when people don't know what else to gossip about and there's this uncomfortable silence in between.
I used to absolutely avoid small talk in my early teenage and I saw it as a way people waste each other's time. But now, as I'm getting older, I'm beginning to see just how important it can be to develop new relationships with other people.
In the first days of my college life, I met a lot of people who I wouldn't have known if I didn't let them make small talk with me. Doesn't matter how meaningless the conversation may seem at first, small talk can be a gateway to making some long-lasting friendships.
Speaking from personal experience, even though most people who make small talk aren't really worth investing your time into in the first place, but the few rare people who are, can bring some of the biggest changes in your life.
Small Talk As An Opportunity
Not all of us are the kinda people who prefer straight-up deep talk. In fact, majority of us take our time to ease down with the other person and get to know them first, and that's why it's super important to not let the initial uninvolving talks stop you from seeing any potential of real conversation in the near future.
I know it's really hard, especially for us introverts, to intentionally involve ourselves in a small talk. It's tiring and drains all your emotional energy, but if there's any room for it to become something bigger, why not give it a shot?
It's the same way my best friend and I met. It's been roughly 5 years since we first became friends and I don't know how different my life would be right now if we didn't break into a random chat that day back in high school.
You never know what hides behind that mask of mediocrity people wear. Sometimes the greatest of people play it way too safe and keep their guards up because they can't find anyone who would stay long enough for them to get comfortable and start sharing who they really are from the inside.
What I'm trying to say here is, you have to let other people feel safe with you. You have to give them enough time to get comfortable around you and only then will they reveal their true identity. If not, you could miss out on something many people only dream to have.
Letting Your Guard Down
The real connection is what comes after the small talk. It's when you guys have stayed together long enough to get to know what the other person is like and whether or not are they really worth spending your time with.
Take it from a guy who used to ignore people on a daily basis: Even if you don't realise it now, you are going to regret not talking to people, especially for those who cared enough to show initiative and reached out to you first.
Look, I know how annoying it is to stay in a conversation that seems as if it's not going anywhere. It feels worthless and emotionally tiring, and even though I'm more open to it now, I still wouldn't want to do it intentionally unless I really have to. But the point remains; you have to learn how to socialize.
Like I said, sometimes all what people need is for you to stay a little while longer. Give them that time and you will see how there's so much more to their personality than some random chit-chat about the weather or a social event.
The thing about us humans is, we are scared to reveal our true faces to the world and that's why it's super rare to find people who are brave enough to let their guard down, to be vulnerable. I know it's easier said than done, but once you do, there's nothing in the world that feels any better.
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