Sorry to hear that, though I can relate and have felt similar at times and still believe that's how I may end up.

I think for me, the cause of this fear is the trauma I faced as a kid. All the bullying, abuse, and shame that I had to go through. I didn't really share my problems with anyone back then because most people would either not understand or not care, or both.

This might have subconsciously made me into believing that no one will come to "save" me and I'll always be on my own. Things are surely different now, and though I'm learning how to deal with that fear, it still keeps me up on some nights.

I guess there can be something sort of peaceful about it, if you can get past the intial fear of such, and realize how many other people have passed in that manner and how life sort of just goes on without us and that we're here for this small little blip of time trying to fit into this strange existence called life.

Very well put. I guess if you look at it that way, that fear doesn't seem that strong after all. Looking at the big picture, none of us will be remembered forever and it's only a matter of time before we are "erased" from people's memory once we die. Still though, I don't think I would ever want such a thing to happen with me, even if our existence on the planet is very limited.

Yet whether we die alone and no one knows or we're surrounded by a bunch of friendly faces in our home.. I think we all go to the same place, where ever that is.. I don't really think some people go to heaven or hell or different places like that, I mean I guess it's possible, though I doubt it. I think we probably all just sort of merge back into the "one", the global or collective un/consciousness. Maybe it's something similar to the dreamworld where we go when we sleep. I tend to think that sounds most reasonable, but hey who knows.. Maybe we reincarnate or something else entirely happens. I admit I don't know.

Sounds a lot like my theory that I talked about in my reply to your comment in my previous entry. I'll mention it here if you don't have the time to go back to the reply:

"I actually made a theory about that when I was much younger. Maybe it's silly, but I think it's worth it for the discussion. Let's imagine there's a whole reservoir of "consciousness juice" somewhere in the place where souls are made.

What my theory said was that every time a life is born in the universe and it's ready to gain the ability to be conscious (because we aren't exactly conscious right after birth, right? It takes some time), an incredibly small amount of that juice is given to that being, and when it dies, that juice returns back to the reservoir and the cycle continues. So, if you look at it this way, what you call a "soul" is actually just a consciousness that finds a host (like you and I) and sticks with it for until the host is no longer "fresh."

But then, does that mean that as the population increases, the reservoir just makes more of that juice? Or does the universe keeps a balance by killing beings on other galaxies? I made this theory up years and years ago and it still makes me curious to this date."

Let me know what you think of this!

I like what you said about how fear serves a purpose to help us, I think that part probably stuck out to me the most. I don't think fear is bad like many people seem to, however it certainly can become out of balance like almost anything.. Yet.. If we're able to look at our fears in a way that is more cognizant of the possibility that fears are here to help us then I think we're much less likely to go out of balance in regards to such!
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That's a wise lesson to consider and contemplate.. It makes me a bit less fearful in paralyzing sorts of ways when I think that fear is there to help me. :) Then the fear becomes more energizing and empowering and I think that's generally a good or positivbe thing!
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Maybe all these sorts of exitential fears I've been dealing with, or.. At least a good portion of them are there to help, maybe even all of them are.. And in that light it's certainly a bit less crippling! Maybe I can use that knowledge or potential to sort of kickstart myself into more productive and constructive action. Hmmm... Definitely something to ponder over and think about more!

That's pretty crazy, isn't it? How we are able to change our response to something just by changing our perception about it. We can literally make our fear less powerful by considering it as an asset, and not as a threat. Pretty awesome. Makes me wonder if this psychology applies to all kinds of other negative emotions. It's basically a life-hack.

Thinking that your fear is trying to make you a stronger person, makes you want to embrace it instead of hiding from it. Maybe that's exactly what we need to do about everything that's wrong in our life: change our perception about it.

Love is a sign that there is an opportunity to be happier in life? Never really heard it phrased that way before. But.. It makes a good amount of sense and I can vibe with that.. I think it may be a bit deeper, though maybe it's not.. Maybe love is just a sign of an opportunity to be happier in life.. Hmm.. Going to have to think about that one more too! Heh.

I think it most definitely is. At our darkest moments, it's love that pulls us back up, nothing else. This love can be about anything, not necessarily love for someone, but maybe even for something that you strongly believe in.

Think about it. Whenever you felt like giving up in life, what was it that kept you going? Was it the greed to be incredibly successful? No. Was it your fear of failing? Some people do say so, but that "motivation" doesn't last long. At your core, you continued because either someone believed in you, or you believed in someone/something else. It's our love for wanting to see our family happy, or our love for making the world a better place that drives us like nothing else. That's my take on it, at least.

This was a very thought provoking read, thank you for sharing it and for sharing what one of your fears was. I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability you have expressed and the information you present. It seems like I almost always learn something really deep and interesting from your posts! You're a great writer and wise for your age, or any age really. Though sometimes people live their whole lives and never learn some of the deep kind of stuff you have. Seems like you're on a good path and I hope things continue to pick up for you and that you leave a great legacy behind. :) Peace, all the best to you and.. Excellent entry!

You should see the smile on my face right now, haha! I absolutely love reading your comments on my articles. You are one of the few people who actually take their time with a post and leave quality feedback. I've always been grateful for that :)

I'm so glad that we're able to share conversation on these difficult topics so easily. Seems like you and I have seen a lot of same things in life. I hope I can keep making you wonder from my writings. Peace!