In subcontinent (IndoPak), the biggest threat to people is "The People". People, who stand no where! Still people find it obligatory to please "the people". Whether it is someone's education, subject selection, educational institute, engagement, marriage, salary, size of house, model of car etc. "People's" approval is mandatory. And when it comes to a very newly arrived "human" baby, the most concerned party, more than the kid's biological parents is again "the people". No matter how much it's a God's business, whether it would be a boy or a girl, people need to know.
"beta peda kr rhi ho, ya phir beti?" (Is it a boy this time or girl again?)
"Arey ab key to beta hi krna"! (It must be a boy this time)
After the gender, most important thing that gains all the powers to make "people" more concerned than ever is the shape of baby's head. And no matter how much you consume yourself in feeding the kid and raising him as a good human, people will reward 80% of the mothers by this sentence, "bachy ka sir kharab kr diya, kesi laa'parwah maa ho." (You ruined the baby's head, how careless mother you are.)
And then the list goes on from a baby's complexion to his/her height, nose, forehead, weight, type of food he is on and so on!
Recently I came to know about a mother who was looking for a remedy to make her 2 years old daughter's natural complexion from dark to light. Feeling sorry for this poor lady, that how much under this stupid social pressure she must have been, I recalled when my little human was born as a normal healthy baby with dark complexion after quite a tough 9 months pregnancy. I thanked Allah for giving me a complete healthy human being. I loved her because she was my kid, and loved her complexion because it was my baby's complexion.
As she was born in pathan family and everyone around her had fair complexion. So I was afraid that people won't be kind enough to not to ask,
"hawwww hyyyy, tum miyan bivi itny gory ho tumhari beti kis pr gai?" (Both of you are quite fair, where did she get this complexion from?)
That was the only fear that I had, but instead of finding a remedy for her natural skin tone, I was preparing my self to break people's jaws who would say that. As these "people" had played a very vital role in ruining my sister's self esteem, who is such a talented and beautiful person but could never appreciate herself for that and always felt low due to her slightly dark colour which is not that dark even, just not as fair as we other sisters have. But as per "people" in order to look like our REAL sister, she must have exactly the same skin tone as rest of us had.
Well thank God after 4 months my daughter's dark complexion was gone. And she was fair enough to be accepted by the society. But even if she had the same dark complexion, I would have not been worried just had to do little extra effort to secure my baby's self esteem and giving "people" asking about her complexion, a shut up call.
Dear "people", why can't you just get a life and let people live without any nonsense pressure? Why do you have to make every one's life difficult by pushing them to live their lives by your approval?
And dear people why do always need an approval by "the people". Why can't you set your own living standards and then stay confident and content to it? Do a favour to your next generation, make sure they never listen this killing sentence who has murdered many alive, "log kia kahain gy."
(what are people gonna say?)
And those who "think" that their kid is not upto the absurd standards set by "the people", don't do any remedy on their skin, head, nose, forehead or other parts of body. Let them be as God chose them to be. Just work on raising their self-esteem and raising them as a good human. Because if you won't, this is the extreme of what you might be upto
We all love and respect Sayyedna Bilal R.A, Dr. Bilal Philips, Oprah Winfrey, Muhammad Ali Kiley and idealize beauty of Amna Sheikh regardless of their complexions.
If complexion had ever matter, your opinion about the following picture would have been different.
Learn to look beyond the complexion. Build your taste buds for humanity and human values, not for physical appearances. May Allah make your kids a comfort for your eyes and an example for the righteousness. (Ameen)
