Depression, it’s a constant battle that I feel like I can’t win. It reminds me of who and what I’ve failed. It tells me that death would be better, because then you can’t be a failer anymore to others or yourself. As I sit in a dark room to myself and cry, memories of loved one’s will project in my mind like a movie screen whether they be positive or negative. When the positive memories appear they are overtaken by the negative and covered like a blanket on a newly made bed. They will keep playing over and over until finally I uncover myself and turn off that movie projector, because I am loved, appreciated, and strong! Yeah I’m going to fail, make mistakes, and fall. That’s when I get back up and try again and again until I succeed, understand that I’m not perfect, and pick myself up and brush myself off.
I’ve battled depression and anxiety for several years. There’s weeks where I’ll be perfectly fine, and then all of a sudden something can trigger it and cause me to have weeks and sometimes even months of not wanting to get out of bed, feeling like a burden on everyone, and suicidal thoughts. I really feel uncomfortable talking about it but I needed to get this off my chest. If you struggle with depression and you want someone to talk to feel free to message me. I know I can’t do much, but I personally knows that it feels good to have someone else to talk too.