One opinion, nothing more. Portland isn't resonating within you, way too much resistance. If you have what you need to do so, think about returning to Denver or CA. You need to be among like minded, like hearted friends and loved ones, real anarchists. It will be in living among them that your inspiration will return in spades. The flow will hit you, you'll smile, hop aboard, and there you'll go. Among friends that resonate and inspire.
Just one opinion.
Blessings, -Logan