I believe we cannot learn the English language because we start with grammar, not with the language. My knowledge about grammatical terms is terribly poor, both in English and Bangla. But that's not an obstacle for me to write correct English. This is because I read a lot. I have a habit of reading English story books and Magazines. I started reading them when I was in class five. So, if you ask me grammar stuff, I won't be able to answer much. But I can tell if a sentence is correct or not most of the time just by looking at it. I know how to form meaningful sentences without knowing grammatical terms much and without thinking of the tons of rules while writing or speaking.
Let's assume that you have an American friend. He wants to learn Bangla. Now, what will you do? Where will you start teaching him from? What are the things you will teach him? Will you start with grammatical terms such as কর্তা, ক্রিয়া, বিশেষ্য, বিশেষন, কাল, সমাস, কারক, বিভক্তি, লিঙ্গ, সন্ধি? How terrible that would be! But you won't do that, right? Because your idea about some of those topics is also not clear. :) Instead, you will teach him what to say, when to say, whom to say, and how to say. That means you will teach him what he should say in a certain situation, just like the way you teach a baby. And gradually his brain will learn the structures automatically without having knowledge of grammatical terms. Actually, you will teach him phrases. Someone once said to me that we are grownups now. We are not children. So, we can't follow the way children learn English. But look at me. I am doing great without having much knowledge of grammar. I meet many who know tons of grammar rules but can't make correct sentences. Rather often those rules lead them towards making more mistakes.
I act as a child when I learn English. I don't question but follow. I just ensure that I am reading and listening quality English. I select good books and magazines by native speakers of English to learn real English that they really use. I listen to TED Talks on YouTube. Memorizing grammatical terms and rules won't help much. Life taught me this, our twelve-year learning of grammar taught me this. Still, I am learning, not from grammar books but from other books and magazines.
Grammar books do one thing really well. They leave learners confused, hopeless, and a failure. They keep learners busy LEARNING ABOUT THE LANGUAGE instead of LEARNING THE LANGUAGE. If you want to learn how to operate a computer, you need to know how to work with software and hardware. But instead of learning how to work with them, if you try to learn how to make hardware and write programmes, you will waste your time, right? Because your goal was to learn how to operate the computer, not how to build them. Another example is when it is dark you need to know how to turn the lights on and where the switches are. If you start learning how electricity is produced and how powerhouses supply electricity to your house then you will be too late to switch the light on. The same thing happens when you try to speak or write. You start analyzing and become paralyzed. So stop analyzing and start listening, speaking, reading and writing.
